Post # 1
I should have listened when all the bees that said everything would change once you actually get engaged. All my dreams are quickly flying out the window.
Family is offering to help, which is amazing, but it means that their ideas are the ones we need to go with, no longer “the brides dream wedding” I need to realize this and get over it fast.
His mom has now totally changed my ideas for rehearsal dinner and has doubled our guest list with 100 people we don’t know at all. Blah. Had my first wedding cry today. Did not think it would happen so early but oh well. It’s over now.
Thanks for being here bees. I feel bad putting this on Maid/Matron of Honor and I can’t talk to my parents about this…..
Post # 3
Thats what weddingbee is here for, a place to laugh, vent, share, cry etc.
Yes, when family contributes you should take what they say into consideration but dont let it get out of hand. Dont let it get to a point where you are no longer happy with the wedding you will be having. Try and make sure that the wedding still represents you and you fiance, after all the day is about you two!
Post # 4
Do I need to be stronger and just tell them that Fiance and I have finaly say ?? I feel like that’s “Zilla” ish
Post # 5
@ms.oregon.state: I was actually about to say that. I don’t think it’s zilla ish at all. It’s YOUR day. My parents are helping and our “compromise” was I get to pick whatever decor, etc. within reason/budget and she gets to invite whoever she wants because she is paying for them. That seemed pretty fair to me and I think I will enjoy have a lot of people to celebrate with. It might be a little larger of a wedding than I originally wanted but I think that’s alright.
Post # 6
Bride and groom should always have final say, even if someone else is footing the bill, if it is something the bride and groom hate, it should not be a part of the wedding!
Post # 7
I guess its nothing I’m going to “HATE” its just stuff that wasn’t in my “plan” for our wedding. I wanted a simple rehearsal dinner with all Out of Town guests like normal. Now we are having a Rehearsal Dinner and a “welcome party” cocktail party. not sure how that happened or why we aren’t combining the two…. oh well.
I just stressed about it a little too much yesterday and the tears just fell! Fiance was a little freaked out haha
I guess the “wedding” is all still how I wanted it and that’s what matters! =) I was just emotional. Thanks bees!!!!
Post # 8
@ms.oregon.state: This is how I discovered weddingbee! I was stressed out about other people’s plans for MY wedding and I think I had talked off the ears of my BMs, FH, and my mom.
Mostly my Future Mother-In-Law, who I normally get along great with, is trying to change my plans for the “stationary” (ie Save-The-Date Cards, invitations, etc) as she owns a stationary business and has been doing this forever. This is some of what has brought me to tears so far. Now I try to avoid having these conversations with her as much as possible, until I absolutely HAVE to, just to avoid the drama.
I figure I will find a way to manipulate her into getting basically what I want for my invitations. Its still your wedding and regardless of who is paying for it, you have to be comfortable with everything.
Post # 9
Someone offering to foot a bill should understand that it’s more of a gift than promoting yourself to ‘producer’ of a wedding. It’s something genuinely nice to do for a couple, not a position of power to promote yourself to.
Post # 11
Vent away ms.oregon.state ! We are here for you with advice, concern, or even just a listening ear. Wedding planning is extremely stressful. (Why do you think wedding planners are able to make lucrative careers out of this? lol)
*hugs* and hang in there!