First year of marriage? Not what I expected.

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Was your first year of marriage hard?
    Yes, most definitely! : (47 votes)
    31 %
    No, it was great! : (98 votes)
    64 %
    Other (mention in comments) : (8 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 31
    Member
    481 posts
    Helper bee

    We just celebrated one year on Sunday!! *cue party music and streamers*

    It’s been great. We’ve definitely had some small rough patches with communication issues and loss of his employment, but God has been gracious and brought us this far! I’d say it was relatively easy. Not always, of course, but I’ve never wished we’d waited or never gotten married.
    We didn’t live together before the wedding, so getting to know each other’s quirks has probably been the most difficult. I love him, though. Quirks and all. ^_^

    Post # 32
    Member
    38 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    View original reply
    bee123456789 :  We’ve only been married for a month so far and did the same thing- I lived with my parents and we were both virgins until marriage. Although we didn’t live together before we had already talked about our daily habits, how we like our home to be like, our expectations, and who will fulfill what roles. So we just naturally meshed together. We made sure we were ready financially as well and planned it all out ahead of time. I think the hardest thing to deal with so far is sleeping habits. We are very different in that aspect and sometimes we don’t get good quality sleep because of it. We were just talking about the first year of marriage the other day and wondering if it’s supposed to be harder. A month isn’t very long to be married but it’s long enough for problems to arise. If anything dating was harder because we had a lot of outside stresses at the time. Maybe the difficulty of your first year of marriage depends greatly on what’s going on other than marriage itself. Right now we are very happy which is unusual for us because we tend to get bored of other people easily but never with each other.

    Post # 33
    Member
    2 posts
    Wannabee

    Our 1 year anniversary was in August. I would say our first year was a little bit challenging, but not due to our relationship. That part was great! We just had a few things going on in our life that were stressful at times. Our second child was born about 5 months into our marriage, and we also purchased a house around the same time, so we were dealing with a newborn, and moving all at once. Plus our 4 year old son. 

    But I feel like the year went past pretty quickly and fairly easily, as far as our relationship. 

    Post # 34
    Member
    387 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: Rydges Hotel

    First few months were a bit uncomfortable. We have different biorhythm, the way we clean the house is different, I squeeze from the bottom of the toothpaste and he doesn’t, etc but other than the time frame of getting used to each other, there wasn’t much difficulty so far.

    Post # 35
    Member
    2663 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    We already lived together so there were no changes other than a ring and a piece of paper. However it was a very difficult year due to factors that were not related to marriage!

    I’m pleased you two are happy though!

    Post # 36
    Member
    3310 posts
    Sugar bee

    We’ve had a really rough first year (and its not even over yet), all caused by external stressors (pregnancy loss, emergency surgery, big expenses, in law drama). We lived together for more than 3 years before marriage so it wasn’t a shock to the system. We’ve had alot more expectations put on us by certain in laws since marrying, I don’t know why. It’s been crazy. THEY have been crazy!

    Post # 37
    Member
    399 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2016

    Our first year was SUPER hard, but for reasons unrelated to it being our first year of marriage! Our life basically felt like we were dealt a really bad hand and everything that happened was like the worst case scenario haha. Now that all that is behind us, the second year of marriage has been absolutely wonderful! Year one was ROUGH. We went in with a lot of debt and we have since cut our total debt in half and it has been a huge stress reliever.

    Post # 38
    Member
    697 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2016 - Akron, OH

    Our first year of marriage was extremely tough, but I’m so so thankful for it. We’ve been together for six years, Darling Husband is almost 27, I’m almost 29. We have grown so much together in the last year that I didn’t even think was possible. We have even grown so much as individuals, which makes it hard when you’re still trying to figure yourself out in a marriage, but we’ve tried to be as encouraging towards each other as possible, remembering that just because we’re married, doesn’t mean we’re not still independent people. At the end of the day, he’s still my best friend, and it hasn’t been easy on us, but it’s getting better all the time (not to quote the Beatles, or anything) 🙂 

    Post # 39
    Member
    88 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    I’ve been married now for close to 9 months. I have also heard the whole “first year is the hardest” line before. And honestly, I expected it to be hard, because we hadn’t lived together previously, and we were going from long distance (different countries!) to me moving from my family home (I lived with my mother through college) and straight into getting married, moving countries and living with a man for the first time in a new place where neither of us had any nearby family or friends (he’s military so was stationed far from home). To top all this off I have Generalised Anxiety and do NOT do well with drastically new situations. I literally had panic attacks after we got engaged and again for a couple months before the wedding.

    But after the wedding? Things are AWESOME. I was so worried that our relationship would change once we were living with and seeing each other every day, or that the excitement of being in a romantic LDR would fade and it would have all been a dream.

    Things haven’t been perfect of course, we definitely have little tiffs now and then, and every few months will have a proper fight (usually cause I’m being over sensitive about something lol), but so far life is just so fun with him. Even though we have had some external issues, like MASSIVE unexpected bills and debts that we’ve been dealing with, I think these things just make us stronger, especially when we work through our rough patches together.

     

    *Edit* sorry just realised how old this thread is! My bad >.<

    Post # 40
    Member
    348 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    Only 6 months in, so can’t say for sure, but I’m feeling exactly like you, OP! It’s been so fantastic! I expected it to be much harder, but it’s been wonderful. We’ve had challenges for sure because we moved to a new country together a week after the wedding and I’ve had some major health issues, but the relationship itself and living together for the first time has been the best thing ever. It actually makes me a bit nervous because I also feel like it shouldn’t be this easy!

    Oops, I missed it too that it was an old thread, sorry Bees! 

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