I don’t have any brilliant words of advice but I can say I’ve been there and it sucks, but you will get through it. I was a TFA corps member teaching 7th and 8th grade in a ridiculous school and also trying to plan my wedding. It was absolute hell. Like you, I was crying every day, had no idea what to do with my kids, was shellshocked from all the violence every day, and then had grad classes on top of that. I’m sorry to say but the wedding took a backseat.
Some things I did to get through:
1. I relied on as many other people to help plan the wedding as I could – my mom picked up a lot of the slack and my sister did a lot of the DIY things for me (both really enjoy it so I didn’t feel terrible asking)
2. I cut out things from the wedding that weren’t important. After teaching in one of the poorest/most violent communities in the country, my perspective on a lot of things changed. Minor details became completely unimportant and it helped me just focus on the big things for our wedding.
3. I made time to work out. I know it’s the absolute last thing you have time for with all the teaching/TFA/grad school crap you have to do but it is so, so important. I only went two or three days per week (one of those was usually a Saturday morning) but just to go for an hour long class (usually kickboxing for me so I could take out my frustrations!) does so much for rejuvenating you and renewing your energy levels. That one hour you lose from lesson planning/grading papers/writing grad school assignments is not going to make or break your experience.
4. Set a cut off time every night. 11 pm was my cut off time every night where I just had to put my work away. Then from 11 pm onwards, I could do any little wedding things I needed to do before going to bed by midnight every night. I didn’t always use that time for wedding stuff but it was my designated time to get some of that stuff done. Having a cut off time and knowing there was a time when I could deal with any wedding emails/details etc really helped alleviate that stress.
I’m also not sure how willing your Fiance is to help you with the planning – I was in the unfortunate situation where my Darling Husband was in Australia whilst I was in the States, so whilst he was willing to do as much as he could, there just wasn’t a whole lot he could do from afar.
Now my situation was bit different from yours in that my wedding was after my second year of TFA but I had to switch schools for my second year of teaching and it was a thousand times worse than my school the year before. For me, my second year of teaching was no better (in fact, a bit worse) than the first year. The only blessing was that grad school was no longer an issue.
Good luck – you WILL pull through this and everything will be just fine, promise!
ETA: I will just add that whilst other people (in general) will say they completely understand your stress and it will be fine, NO ONE will ever completely understand the stress of a first year TFA corps member unless they have been there themselves. I’m in my 30s and I can say without a doubt that I had never experienced true stress until being in TFA, and that’s after years of being a child protection social worker and dealing with the stress of removing children from their parents care. TFA stress is a whole different playing field…..