- 5 years ago
My fiancé is mostly Ukrainian and I am part Ukrainian (By that I mean our ancestors) My Geeg was quite proud of his heritage, my FI’s grandmother was also fairly traditional. We observe some traditions at times. Very few of our families speak Ukrainian, except for a few of the older generation.
My Geed died when he was 60, my grandma at 53. My Fiance lost his grandmother a few years ago. There’s unfortunately many more than that, but the point is we lost a lot of family, and in my case it occurred very young.
We’re getting married in an Anglican church. To honor our culture and to pay respects to those who are not able to be with us, we are having a prayer read in Ukrainian in addition to the regular service. Our Rev is in favor of this.
My Fiance asked his aunt, who speaks Ukrainian, to do the reading. She declined, which in and of itself is not the problem. She went on to tell us that it was basically stupid to have it read in Ukrainian, because no one speaks it. (We were going to have the translation in our programs). She went on to say that “God speaks all languages” and so it’s pointless. That the Lords Prayer is to be lead by the Priest, no one else. That prayer is just between you and God and that doing it in Ukrainian would be “for show” and basically our way of praying is somehow wrong and would be some borderline sacrilegious.
Now, I get that prayer is a very personal experience for those who take part in it. I am not in any way upset that she is not comfortable doing the reading, or that in her opinion, it’s not how she would show her faith or culture. What I don’t like is being told that our way of doing this is somehow wrong and somehow disrespectful to the church. I don’t like her imparting this opinion on us as if she is somehow entitled to speak for the Church, or God or whatever.
Honestly, I’m so insulted by what she has said, and so hurt that she would disrespect our culture as something not worthy of being in a church. I don’t think I can look her in the face and say anything respectful to her. Especially since this was to honor past relatives.. I mean, who says that?
We have someone else to read in the church, because no, she’s not the only one who speaks Ukrainian. So that part of the issue is dealt with. But really, I’m just shocked at her reaction to the request.