- 10 years ago
Now I know everyone is entitled to their special day, but I need your help coping with this and breaking it down to me. My Fiance and I have been dating for a long time (over 5 years) and we got engaged in January. We picked July (when we started dating) 17th (because of the diamonds in my engagement ring) for our special time. Also, we picked a day so far away because we were currently living in Japan, and now we’re back in the states and wanted to wait till we were back here to plan.
Our best man just got engaged at the end of this summer to his fiance that he has been dating for a little over a year, and now they are expecting (they are currently living in Japan still). I would think that they would plan their wedding before their baby is due, but they decided (with out talking to us) to have their wedding in the states right before ours, on July 3rd. Before they chose July 3rd, they were thinking a week after our wedding, joking that “We’re going to interupt your honeymoon, hahaha”. Later they changed it to July 3rd thinking it would help us out more, but actually I still feel like it’s too close for comfort. We’ve asked about wedding details, and unlike our wedding which will be very large, they want a small intimate wedding with my Fiance as his best man. Also, they do not have a specific reason for picking that date, it’s just the date that they found to be convenient.
The frustration comes from us not knowing how busy we’ll be planning our own wedding days, and also considering we don’t live in the city we’re planning the wedding (or in the city they’re planning theirs). I just don’t know if we’ll be too busy on the weekends making final arrangements (cake, dresses, suits, flowers, photographers, caterers, driving back and forth etc) so much that my head explodes. We’re not made of money either, and my Fiance paying for his tux, and a best man tux, and our wedding gift to them, etc, will really stretch out our wallets all at once.
When we first found out, I was really upset, because I felt like they weren’t being considerate as to how much work we’ll have to do, even more so that we’ll have jobs and they’ll be taking a break since he’s quitting his job before coming back to the states to celebrate. We sent a gentle email stating that we were afraid of time constraints and politely hinting at having their wedding at least 3 weeks after or before ours (since we are wanting to spent at least 2 weeks in Europe for our honeymoon).
Did I do the right thing? Etiquette wise, what do you think the best man should do? I just think the dates are too close together for close friends.