(Closed) FI's Dad Passed Away Yesterday

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2370 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

This is very difficult. My sympathies.

Anger is very common, I felt it myself for the same reason when my dad died, after being sick with heart and stroke for 3 years. Mad because he had no care about his health and what he put all of us through. It is complicated.

I think a long illness gives us a chance to process the impending death. A sudden death which is a shock is very different. I steeled myself for my dad’s death, and my mom’s, who was declining for years before she died. Sometimes I think I toughened up too much.

Post # 4
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Sending huge sympathies! And don’t be afraid to reach out to social networks—real-life or online. Regardless of how little your Fiance cares to outwardly express his feelings about the situation, your being there for him during this time is difficult and you need support too (not from him, he needs to be focusing on himself, but from your friends). In some ways, it’s harder to support a partner who isn’t outwardly grieving very much, because you spend a lot of mental energy guessing how they feel and trying to be kind of psychic and unobtrusive with your support. Sending huge sympathy and good energy for your Fiance, but sending them to you too, bee, because you need just as much support during a time that’s difficult for both of you. 

Post # 6
Member
789 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

So sorry to hear about this. Fiance lost his dad a couple of years ago, and they were also not close at all – his dad had substance abuse issues and as a result was not really a consistent part of his life. When he passed, Fiance had not spoken to him for at least several years. He was very sad but I think struggled to mourn because he was also angry at him. He doesn’t like talking about his feelings much, but one evening, he did talk to me about it, and he seemed almost relieved after. In short, I would say, you know your Fiance – in my case, I waited until he was ready to talk to me about it. 

Hugs!

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