Post # 1
I’m sorry guys, but I just need to vent this out. Fiance and I have been together for 9 years, living together for 3 and are getting married in August.
Fiance has this ex-girlfriend who he’s still on friendly terms with. They talk from time to time, and I met her once at a mutual friend’s party. It doesn’t bother me that they’re still friendly – in fact I respect him for staying on friendly terms – especially since I know my Fiance loves me and she’s married with 2 kids.
Anyhoo, last month I came home and found a phone bill with the ex’s name and OUR address on it. I put it to the side and didn’t mention anything about it because 1. I was in post engagement bliss and nothing fazed me and 2. I figured Fiance would tell me about it. I ended up forgetting about it until…the next week…when I opened the mailbox and saw a Kohl’s and Victoria’s Secret catalog addressed to the ex at our address. Grrr…
After a couple weeks of tossing the ex’s junk mail Fiance finally tells me that the ex is sending mail to our house because she’s using our address for her kid’s school.
Really!?! Are you seriously trying to tell me that this woman doesn’t know ANYONE else in the entire county but YOU and needs to use OUR address for HER children!!
Is it just me or is this totally weird and completely annoying?
*Edit: At first it was perplexing, now every time I toss out the ex’s junk mail I want to wring FI’s neck for agreeing to this nonsense. I don’t want to blow it out of proportion but it really gets me that he didn’t think to ask me first. How would you ladies approach it?
Post # 3
TOTALLY weird and TOTALLY annoying.
Not okay in my book and I’d say something to my hubby. NOT OKAY.
Post # 4
it is completely weird, and its weird that she would start doing that without asking you BOTH if it was okay first – id be livid and put a swift end to it (but, i do have a bit of a temper, so if youre not as hot-headed as me, maybe a calm discussion would suffice haha)
Post # 5
@PinkPandaBear: Yes, I would definitely be annoyed!! I would be annoyed that Fiance never mentioned it to me and that he would even agree to do that for his ex to begin with!
Post # 6
Absolutely weird and wouldn’t be ok with me. He didn’t even think to check with you first?
Post # 7
You Fiance should have discussed this with you first. Seriously.
Post # 8
I think it’s a tad weird.. but only because it’s an opposite sex relationship. I know people that have done that but it’s usually b/c the mother is friends with another mother. Aside from the opposite sex akwardness I just don’t like it b/c I’m real weird when it comes to lying so I myself would never do this or approve of allowing someone too.
Not real sure how exactly I would handle this but get as much information about it all as I could… What school, why that school, does she know anyone else… even another students mother, etc.
Atleast you know that your Fiance is honest and open to communicate it with you.. so from there you have a good outlook 😉
EDIT: As for him not mentioning it BEFORE…… he’s a guy and really guys are really bad and getting that one down, they just don’t think about it. I highly doubt it had to do with leaving you out, hiding it, or thinking you would disapprove. 😉
Post # 9
Wouldn’t this also be fraud? Since your Fiance knew about it you guys could also get in a lot of trouble if she gets caught!
Post # 11
Did he agree to let her do that and didn’t tell you or did she do it and then told your Fiance about it later?
I think its rude and I would be pissed. I wouldnt want a reminder everytime I went to the mailbox of an Ex.
Post # 12
I wouldn’t be okay with this simply because I wouldn’t want her junk mail sent to my house! Your Fiance needs to call her and tell her to stop using YOUR address! That’s just ridiculous!
Post # 13
TOTALLY WEIRD and TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE. Get your Fiance to get her to change it NOW. And you should call the companies (i.e. Victoria’s Secret, Kohl’s, etc.) where you’re getting junk mail for her from and DEMAND to have it taken off of their list. I’m talking threaten BBB/AG action if they won’t do it or if it continues. You have EVERY RIGHT to be angry at this crazy girl and at your Fiance for allowing this, particularly without consulting you!
My FI’s ex, (his son’s mother) gets bills at our house and it is infuriating to me.
Post # 14
Not only would I NOT be ok with this….she is using it for her kid’s school? As in she is trying to make the school believe she lives in the district so her kid can be enrolled there? I hope that’s not what’s going on here. That’s fraud and could get you all in serious trouble.
Google Kelly Williams-Bolar’s name to see what can happen if you and your Fiance are a party to this. She used her father’s address to enroll her kids in a different district. She is now a convicted felon and served time for it. Her father who allowed her to use his address was also charged.
Post # 16
@Neva: Totally agree with you! I would not be happy with Fiance for putting you both in a position to be in serious trouble for his ex’s sake!