(Closed) FI's family drama may potentially blow up wedding?! (Long, complicated).

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
3106 posts
Sugar bee

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MsPeanutbutterPenguin:  There’s so much ill will among your FI’s family that I wonder if they should attend at all…

Post # 3
Member
10283 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Everyone’s an adult, yes, but everyone is not acting like an adult. 

you might need to hire security. 

Post # 5
Member
247 posts
Helper bee

Do you have to have a top table including parents? Or could you ask each parent to ‘host’ a table each? The only catch wold be having to include your parents in that. 

Post # 7
Member
3080 posts
Sugar bee

Top table? We married in the late 1970s and my parents sat at a tale with their mothers and my other, immediate relatives. My Mother-In-Law did the same, at another table, on the other side of the dance floor. When both my daughters married, in the last few years, the groom’s parents didn’t sit at the same table with us, either.  Both newlywed couples sat at sweetheart tables, with their bridal parties at regular, round, guest tables.

Post # 9
Member
6370 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

Well first thing’s first: I would definitely NOT put them all at a table together. That’s asking for trouble. I know it makes sense to have the immediate family all together at the head table…but not in this situation. 

Also, you invited FI’s mother WITH her adulterous boyfriend? That would make me very uncomfortable. I’m sure it was easier to do that though than it would be to fight with her about it. 

Post # 10
Member
3080 posts
Sugar bee

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MsPeanutbutterPenguin:  A ha! Just noticed you were in the UK. We’re in the US.

Other than when they were sitting and eating their food courses, my daughters and their husbands were never sitting at their sweetheart tables. They were up dancing or socializing with guests. Back when we were married we had a “head table” for the bridal party, only. At the time, many people sat both sets of parents together, at one table, but I would have never done that. My mother in law has always been a difficult person, to get along with.

Post # 13
Member
3949 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I second a sweetheart table (that’s what we did) or a head table with just the bridal party. Parents generally don’t sit at the head table anyway… sitting them together sounds like inviting drama and disaster.

Post # 14
Member
5304 posts
Bee Keeper

Awww honey, this sounds awful, no you’re not being stupid, unfortunately the behaviour of some grown adults has you so worried about potential, serious drama that it’s stolen the fun from wedding planning. Honestly, with everything you describe I’d cut my losses with the venue & plan either an elopement for a nice weekend away with your Fiance or a small intimate cereomony with the drama-free relatives you’re closest to followed by dinner in a restaurant. It’s not fair to you or to your Fiance, not at all, I just worry that the alternative could be worse. ((((hugs))))

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