(Closed) FI's family has already started in… (VENT)

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4893 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I guess Aunt didn’t get the “No pay, no say” memo…. 

Obvious answer: ignore her. It’s not her wedding. It’s not even her kid’s wedding.

Post # 4
Member
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

…delete her post…she’ll get the idea.  Besides what she doing for an entire month that’s so important?

Post # 6
Member
4893 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

@EffieTrinket:  Log into his FB 😉 Or just have him delete it. 

Honestly, though. I’m not going to go posting on an engaged friend’s wall, “Don’t have your wedding in November because it’s my birth month.” or tell my sister that she cannot celebrate her May birthday because of my wedding or something stupid like that. And I bet she would never say something like that to your face! Facebook makes people too comfortable saying the wrong things.

Post # 7
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I probably would delete her response otherwise everyone is going to know what is going on…. altho i guess the cat is out of the bag by someone asking you not to wait two years to set the date ….

Post # 8
Member
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I’d set the date for July of 2013 just to spite her.  But I’m mean like that.

Post # 9
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Brush them haters off.

Especially the ones not excited for you!

Bahumbug.

Post # 10
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Haha, I can’t believe she requested that! She didn’t even give an explanation! 

I would probably delete both of the family members comments or delete the whole post if you haven’t told everyone yet though. Loved your engagement story post, btw 🙂

Post # 11
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@EffieTrinket:  “Oh, don’t worry, Auntie. I don’t want to pay royalties to the month you clearly own. Our budget prohibits it.”

Post # 12
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Ummmmm ok. I guess they have better things to do… …

Post # 13
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I’d make it July just on principle!

Post # 14
Hostess
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

ahhh… love the delete option on facebook. 😀

put my vote in for that too!

Post # 15
Member
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo

Ugh, ignore it. And set the date whenever. And if she calls you on it, be like, ‘oh, sorry, I didn’t realize.'(realize you ran the world, realize you were offering to pay, realize I couldn’t get married without your presence….)

If it helps, my Future Mother-In-Law posted our engagement on Facebook like 10 seconds after we called to tell her, which was about 3 minutes after we got engaged. We hadn’t even finished calling our families yet, and I think one of his sisters actually found out from FB before we could call her. Oh well, at least his mom is excited about it I guess, but it was kind of weird.

Post # 16
Member
7738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Without knowing the aunt, I think you are overthinking this. The problem with text is it can be too blunt. She probably wanted to write something like:

“We’ve already got two weddings in July 2013, one of which is in Europe so we will be overseas from the 9th to the 24th of July. I realise there are a lot of things for you to consider. but we probably can’t get to your wedding if it’s in July 2013”

But of course she was too busy/lazy to type that so she wrote, “not in July 2013 please”.

I guess what I’m saying is, treat it as a polite heads up rather than a rude demand.

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