(Closed) FI’s family has no $ putting pressure on my family

posted 8 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

That does sound frustrating!  Can his family help in other ways?  Sounds like they would have plenty of time to help with DIY or something else where time is involved instead of money.

Post # 4
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@msbug: I feel for you, but there’s nothing you can do and your FI’s family is in no way obligated to help. Are you and your Fiance contributing to the wedding? If your date is 2012, you do have some time, we’re almost completely planned and we’ve only put down $2500 in deposits for a wedding that’s in 4 months. You can have a wedding on a budget, just figure out what is the most important to you and scale back the rest.And don’t forget, life and circumstances change rapidly, so what you’re stressing over today may not be an issue tomorrow. Just a thought to help keep you sane!

Post # 7
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@msbug: well you definitely have time, most venues will not book until a year out anyway. Just focus on saving and enjoy your engagement. It’s too early for drama!

Post # 8
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Sometimes even families with money and jobs choose not to pay for their children’s weddings.  Try to distract yourself from them and enjoy being engaged. 

Post # 9
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

In my situation, neither family is contributing (we didn’t ask either family to contribute) and I’ve told them that I will spend my money how I want. I don’t walk into their lives and tell them how to spend their money and they most certainly will not tell me how to spend mine. It is what it is.

Personally, I don’t see wedding expenditures as being any different than buying a car. Would you tell them how expensive of a car they can or can’t afford? So if anyone tries (and they have) to tell me that I *can* afford something, I shut them up real quick.

Post # 10
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

If I”m not mistaken, the only thing the groom’s family is responsible for is their wedding clothing and the rehearsal dinner.

There are a lot of women on here whose FI’s family isn’t helping out.  Likewise, there are a lot of women on here whose parents aren’t helping out.  Many couples on here are paying for their own wedding.

Darling Husband and I paid for our own wedding.  Granted, it was a last minute, out of the blue JoP ceremony with our immediate family (his parents, my parents, our siblings and niece/nepews and our kids).  We had a reception for the 13 of us at our favourite restaurant afterwards.  My parents picked up a cake at the supermarket after dinner and my IL’s picked up a bottle of champagne.  But we had 3 kids prior to marriage and didn’t think a big fluffy wedding was appropriate. 

Post # 11
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m sorry they aren’t very supportive of your union..that sucks!  My experience with wedding and cost is that it is the responsibility of the bride and groom. It’s awesome if you have parents who would contribute, but it’s really not the norm anymore.  Weddings are just so expensive that if I were in their position, I would run the other way. Our wedding will cost 35k, we have saved 2 years for this..we will just barely have that when the wedding comes! You totally have time to save for it. Come up with a reasonable budget then start a saving account.  You will be surprised how much you can save when you have a goal. =)

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