(Closed) FI’s family thinks I’m planning too soon…

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Tell them not to worry about it…they aren’t the ones having to do any of it. (NM, don’t say that). On a serious note, you aren’t planning too soon. The first people to be booked up are: venues, photographers, and videographers. It sounds like to me you are right on track and there is nothing wrong with wanting to get stuff done so that you can enjoy your engagement.

If this helps, let them know that I ordered a Maggie Sottero dress the first week of August 2010…I just got recently. That wait was not because they were SUPER busy or lost my order. That is normal apparently.

Some of these things take a lot of time and for people that have never planned a wedding or haven’t planned one in the last decade don’t really have a clue of the time and effort and planning ahead it takes. 

I am sure there are people out there planning in 3-6 months. KUDOS to ya!

Post # 4
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I have a year and a half untill my wedding but I am still starting to plan now. I don’t want to be in the situation that my Future Sister-In-Law is in right now. She got engaged 9 months ago and she wants to get married in the Fall. She waited untill last month to start planning and now she is having a hard time finding vendors that are not booked already. Her dress is coming in about a week before her wedding, if I were in her shoes I would be SCARED, but she doesn’t care.

Post # 5
Member
931 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Yes, maybe and no.

No, because @lilmiss26 is right and there are things that are better planned far in advance.

Maybe, because that’s a long engagement and you want to be careful not to get tired of planning. (see other posts on wedding planning overload/exhaustion)

Yes, because most guys don’t get the planning this far in advance. And you want to be really careful not to tire your groom out and make wedding planning “work” this far ahead of time.

My suggestion would be to book the big stuff if you must (if your location/vendors are in high demand). Then just read books and blogs for ideas/fun in your spare time if you want. And come back to the planning in phases as it gets closer.

Post # 6
Member
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I think you are fine, especially since you want a big chunk done by August (and who could blame you!).  Vendors can book up FAST especially if you have a popular date (um, hello JUNE!) so I would much rather pick someone now that you love and that is available than wait and not have much choice.  How about showing him a calendar of when things need to be done by?  Maybe he needs to see it in person.  If he still has his head in the air, then I would say “Fine”, give him everything and say “Have fun!”  As for his parents, it’s way different now than when they got married.  The things my Mother-In-Law told me made my jaw drop.

Post # 7
Member
10714 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

YOUR DEFINITELY NOT PLANNING TOO SOON! Were June 2012 and more than half the venues we looked at are booked for every Saturday in June 2012 as well as September of 2012. Better to be early than late and sorry… I’ve got a lot of my planning out of the way and I’m working hard on decor now b/c my entire wedding is DIY (I mean everything!) This way I can take my time and spread my projects out so they look nicer and I can add more things as I find them! This also helps with my tiny budget… With over a year and only buying new things to make for the wedding a little at a time It’s not such a hurt on the wallet and it’s keeping us out of dept until we come down to the wire and have to buy a few large things… I’d rather not have 8 months were we have to change our lifestyles so we can afford to buy stuff (and barely have enough time to complete projects… gah!)

Post # 8
Member
10714 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

ps. my grandmother told me over the weekend I should try and have most of the planning done over the summer and by the time fall rolls around I should wrap up loose ends because christmas time is just too busy to add planning a wedding in the mix… As far as next Spring or post Christmas we’ll have 5 months of planning left and that’s just not enough for the type of wedding and size of wedding were having. Plus that last month isn’t for planning it’s for organizing and preparing =) My son is a 6 year old bouncing bean so he adds a huge factor into the mix with lack of time…

Post # 9
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

It is not too soon to plan. Your wedding is taking place in a very busy month, and if you want your pick of vendors, you need to book them as soon as possible, or you will be sad, if you don’t get the ones you want. Everyone told me that two years out was too soon to start planning, but I just told them that if we want certain things and want to get the best deals we have to plan as early as we can. By planning early we are having the wedding that we want at prices that we can afford and with vendors that we want.

Post # 10
Member
4520 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

There’s no such thing as planning too soon, unless you think your tastes or financial circumstances are going to change drastically by June 2012! You’re smart to try to get a lot done before starting grad school.

Post # 11
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Psh, it doesn’t matter what they think. Only you know what makes it realistically possible for you to plan. I am in a very similar boat to you. I’m planning mostly this summer as I also have Grad School in the fall and don’t want to overwhelm myself with wedding bs while I’m trying to figure out Grad School and do well on both counts.

I think it’s crappy that he didn’t let you defend yourself, especially before possibly venting to mommy and daddy. It’s not their place to decide, unless you were asking them to do a lot of the planning (which I didn’t get that feeling.) Explain to him that you want to have a lot of it done before Grad School and you don’t feel like this is a ridiculous time to start. It isn’t. To me, now and this summer are the PERFECT times to plan. You can see the venues how they will look this time next year instead of having to guess.

Ours is about a month and a half before yours and I’ve already ordered my dress, so don’t let familial pressure get in your way. I got a great sale price on my dress because I ordered it this past January.

Post # 12
Member
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

We’re March 2012 and the only thing we have left to book is a cake. We wanted to have everything with at least a deposit down mainly because our wedding is a semi-DW (for us at least) and we only go home (where the wedding will be) a couple times a year. The next time we’ll be back is September and that’s probably the last time before the wedding.

You definitely aren’t planning too far in advance. This way, if something happens and you need to take a little hiatus from wedding planning it won’t stress you out too much.

Post # 13
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I have to wonder why some people are sooo concerned with someone “planning too soon.” I got this comment when it was 11 months before my wedding date. Honestly, there is nothing wrong with being prepared and planning a huge event – no matter how early!

Post # 14
Member
1909 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@FutureMrsMcDermott:

It sounds like you are a planner, and I fully support your efforts to get ahead 🙂 Especially if you are getting married on the coast, good venues & vendors book up really fast. And the fact that you prioritize your education and don’t want to have the added stress of wedding planning is a very mature approach. I say bravo! It stinks that FI’s parents aren’t more supportive. Give them a break from wedding-related talk…you can always find positive support and feedback here on the boards 🙂

Post # 15
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I would say yes and no…I am getting Married in May 2012 and we have booked our Venue and that’s IT! I don’t want to rush all my plans and make all these decisions now and have way too much time left to second guess or just make changes. Idk to me it’s too soon to do the dresses and cake and menu and those types of things. But, like PP’s have said, if your area books photogs and decorators and all that in advance I guess go for it and don’t worry about what anyone says.

Post # 16
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@sparrowly: I agree with you, not sure why people are so concerned with the timeframe of others wedding planning. If you wanted to plan 5 years in advance, that’s your business, WHO CARES! Now, if the people around you do not want to hear about it that early then ok fine, don’t include them…. but it’s really nobody’s business. As far as your Fiance, it is his business so if he doesn’t want to be included in everything then keep the conversation at a minimum. Maybe you two can figure out a solution to work together.

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