(Closed) FI's faraway cousin wants to bring his FOUR kids

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

If they are willing to pay for the travel to bring them and you aren’t doing a kid free wedding, I’d say you have to let them. If they have to travel (so things would be overnight) it would probably be hard to find someone to watch their four kids for that long so it would probably make it so they can’t come. 

Post # 3
1136 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I’m not sure you should have invited them to begin with if it’s such a small wedding. But I would tell them. Maybe they won’t come then!

Post # 4
1900 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
littlecats :  IF you were having a child free wedding, then you could say no. However, you are having kids and ALL young ones at that. I’m assuming since he’s family, this cousin is related to the others with kids? 

For the record, I’m against kids at weddings. There is nothing wrong with adult only weddings. 

Post # 6
14049 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You invited them and you’re inviting other children.  It would be pretty bad to not allow them to bring their kids, especially when they’re travelling in JUST for your wedding.

If you weren’t that close to them and you were having a small wedding, you shouldn’t have invited them.  You’ve made your bed now its time to lie in it.

Post # 7
3228 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Since you are having children at your wedding then their children should be included. 

Post # 8
42 posts
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m going to disagree with everyone else… The 2 breastfeeding babies are a given/kinda don’t count as ‘invited children’ as they are essentially an extension of their moms at this point (sorry if that seems not politically correct…. But you all know what I mean…). The other three kiddos are extremely close to you, and most likely have parents who are going to be working cooperatively with you to make sure they are improving your big day and not distracting from it.

I would reply something along the lines of “I’m so sorry you did not receive your paper invite. The original invitation was for you and your wife, as we are having a smaller, intimate wedding. If you would still like to bring the kids to (your city/state), I can recommend an amazing babysitter who could step in while you guys enjoy the reception with us!” 

Is there any other family type events (morning after brunch at your in laws house for out of town family?)?? If so, you could also mention that as being something their kids ARE invited to, if that makes sense.

Post # 9
14010 posts
Honey Beekeeper

There is no issue with cut offs by category for child guests, for example children of siblings only. But you kind of open yourself up to hurt feelings when you are inconsistent, for example friend’s kids are invited but not cousins kids. 

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