Post # 1
Fiance messed up the invites and his cousin didn’t get it. When we didn’t hear from him, Fiance half joked, “Oh, he hates me, he probably just doesn’t care”. So they aren’t close!
I felt like it would be polite to check and it turns out him and his wife DIDN’T get it. So he asked me if he could bring his four little ones. This was through Facebook. Their family would be traveling to see us so I feel bad saying no.
Our wedding is not child free, but there are only maybe 5 kids invited, 2 babies because mom’s are still breast feeding, FIs best friend whose 2 year old we hang out with all the time, and our niece and nephew, who are 3 and 1.
This will almost multiply our kid numbers by 2. We aren’t doing anything special for kids but there is a playground nearby.
I don’t really want to add 6 people to our small wedding when Fiance isn’t even close to them. And I don’t know if these kids behave well or not, all the kids who are coming I know and love and I know what their behaviour is like. I’m really stressed if they are crazy kids. What can I say? Or is it rude not to include them if we are including other kids?
Post # 2
If they are willing to pay for the travel to bring them and you aren’t doing a kid free wedding, I’d say you have to let them. If they have to travel (so things would be overnight) it would probably be hard to find someone to watch their four kids for that long so it would probably make it so they can’t come.
Post # 3
I’m not sure you should have invited them to begin with if it’s such a small wedding. But I would tell them. Maybe they won’t come then!
Post # 4
IF you were having a child free wedding, then you could say no. However, you are having kids and ALL young ones at that. I’m assuming since he’s family, this cousin is related to the others with kids?
For the record, I’m against kids at weddings. There is nothing wrong with adult only weddings.
Post # 5
That’s kind of what I’m thinking. I had no idea who this cousin was two days ago, or that he had kids. Our niece and nephew are not faraway relatives, they are his sister’s kids, we know and love them! Our nephew talks about coming to our wedding non stop, there is no way we could exclude them.
Unfortuately now I feel like if we include them and my MOH’s daughter we should include everyone’s kids. There are also 2 babies where moms are breastfeeding and so they need to bring them to feed them!
Fiance was in charge of his list, so I’m not sure why he invited them. I think he felt like he should invite cousins, especially since neither of us have big families.
Post # 6
You invited them and you’re inviting other children. It would be pretty bad to not allow them to bring their kids, especially when they’re travelling in JUST for your wedding.
If you weren’t that close to them and you were having a small wedding, you shouldn’t have invited them. You’ve made your bed now its time to lie in it.
Post # 7
Since you are having children at your wedding then their children should be included.
Post # 8
I’m going to disagree with everyone else… The 2 breastfeeding babies are a given/kinda don’t count as ‘invited children’ as they are essentially an extension of their moms at this point (sorry if that seems not politically correct…. But you all know what I mean…). The other three kiddos are extremely close to you, and most likely have parents who are going to be working cooperatively with you to make sure they are improving your big day and not distracting from it.
I would reply something along the lines of “I’m so sorry you did not receive your paper invite. The original invitation was for you and your wife, as we are having a smaller, intimate wedding. If you would still like to bring the kids to (your city/state), I can recommend an amazing babysitter who could step in while you guys enjoy the reception with us!”
Is there any other family type events (morning after brunch at your in laws house for out of town family?)?? If so, you could also mention that as being something their kids ARE invited to, if that makes sense.
Post # 9
There is no issue with cut offs by category for child guests, for example children of siblings only. But you kind of open yourself up to hurt feelings when you are inconsistent, for example friend’s kids are invited but not cousins kids.