(Closed) FI's father makes fun off my mental illness.

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 16
Member
209 posts
Helper bee

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tkmw104:  It sounds like you have a really good plan. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but it sounds like you have a really kind and supportive partner.

Post # 17
Member
9830 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

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tkmw104:  In that case I amend my suggestion above to maybe just get him to talk to the other family members away from his dad about their laughing at his jokes. But still use the comparison to laughing at someone in a wheelchair or a blind person or something like that.

Post # 18
Member
953 posts
Busy bee

Honestly I’m the fight fire with fire kind and I would make up a list of equally offensive come backs. 

He wants to be funny…so can you. 

Post # 19
Member
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

The father is physically and verbally abusive. There comes a point where a person is too toxic to have in your life, even if they’re family- and this abusive ass qualifies on so many levela. Your Fiance has admirably stood up for you, which bodes very well for your future together, but your Future Father-In-Law obviously doesn’t care about the negative impact of his actions and has bullied your Fiance over other things as well. He’s a lost cause, write him off and don’t allow him to poison your lives.

Your Fiance may want to reach out to other family members with whom relationships are still salvageable and tell them how their laughter at your FFIL’s taunts hurts you and makes them look like shameful for finding humour in comments that are deplorable.

Post # 20
Member
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

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tkmw104:  I’m so sorry to hear that you’re in such a shitty situation. I’ve posted a bit about my piece of shit Future Father-In-Law. He insulted me to my core about my physical disease ( I did also have Major Depressive Disorder & due to my disease also now developed general anxiety) I lived in such a toxic & dysfunctional environment while living in my FI’s apartment that his dad lived in too. When I told my Fiance I was moving out he obviously chose to come with me but moving out was worse than I ever imagined. 

Be warned that when your Fiance moves out his father will lash out and be the worst you’ve ever seen. I actually suggest not telling them until you are moving that day. It gives less time for him to be abusive & do everything possible to break down his son. It breaks my heart hearing that you too have a terrible Future Father-In-Law. I was scared of mine too. He’s a violent man whose rage is just as terrifying as his manipulation. I understand you’re worried about safety and to be honest after seeing how terrible my Future Father-In-Law can be I am worried about my safety & for now will not deal with him even tho I want to curse him out so badly. You should avoid him as much as possible. I haven’t seen my Future Father-In-Law for almost 3 months now. I’d like for it to be forever but unfortunately he will probably be at the wedding. 

Please be careful. I urge you to tell those you love – if you’re worried about your FI’s safety then tell them that so they won’t confront his father until your Fiance is safe. 

I’m really serious about not telling FI’S family until the last minute about moving out. Secretly pack what you can so when your Future Father-In-Law finds out your Fiance can get out quick. Have your parents there or strong male friends if possible. My parents came with me after I confessed what was going on. 

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that bullshit. It really sucks. Your support system is vital for getting thru this & remember however hard it is with what you’re going thru w/ your Future Father-In-Law for your Fiance its even worse since it’s his own father so be as loving & kind to your Fiance. Cuz it breaks their heart. 

Message me if you want to talk further. it’d be nice to vent and talk about common problems with someone who actually gets it. 

 

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