(Closed) Fi’s friend wants his gf to come & is offering to pay for her

posted 8 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think if you have space after some have declined.. then maybe, but whose to say you shouldnt invite a friend that you had on the original guest list that you had to bump off for numbers wouldnt you prefer them? I wouldnt feel obligated for her to be there..

However, if your FIs friend knew absolutely no one at the reception, then only then would i consider adding her if a no rsvp came in.. thats just me… Im a stickler for numbers.

 

Post # 4
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think you should wait until RSVP’s come back. Yes, it was a sweet thing for the poor guy to do, but you have to keep in mind more people = more money to dish out (obviously you’re not going to let him pay for her). Let him know the situation with the RSVP’s and if you happen to fall short of your number of expected guests, he should be able to bring her and not tip off the guestlist too much. Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
950 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Ditto ccranetobe & Muffins: Have Fiance let his friend know that you’d (the two of you) be happy to invite his Girlfriend if you receive less than your desired number of “yes” RSVPs.  Have Fiance explain that you had to exclude a number of friends & family who you BOTH know well, so his Girlfriend shouldn’t feel like “sloppy seconds” on the invite & Fiance hopes things work out so that you can invite her.  That should appease FI’s friend & FI’s desire to stick to your budget. Good Luck!

Post # 6
Member
1956 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

Personally, if it were me, I would just let her come…We had a very similar situation with a friend’s wedding back in the fall where another good friend wanted to bring his gf and they wouldn’t let him. Wouldn’t even let her come down after dinner for the dancing part! It caused a lot of hurt feelings on both ends, mostly of the guy who wanted to bring his gf…If she means enough to him that he really wants to bring her this bad to ask twice, I would just say yes…But I’m a softie and a sucker for guys who love their girlfriends enough to do something like that ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

did you draw a line at “no +guests” or “couples engaged/living together/married”?

If you did, then I’d say no. If you didn’t and that +guest line was never drawn in the sand, do what you like.

I’ve had this happen to me and it’s actually really rude.

Post # 8
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

wait til the rsvp date (or enough nos come in); let him know that you’re putting her at the top of the ‘waiting list’ though ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Ooohhh…this is tricky,isn’t it.

On the one hand, it’s tempting to just say “sure, bring her along”

On the other, if you have told everyone else they cannot bring SO’s (especially within the same circle of friends) and then she shows up, others might be a bit miffed (I know I would be!)

You have to be careful on this one.  I dated my now husband for 7 years before we were married and I was invited to a wedding without him just after we got engaged.  I chose not to go because I thought it was rude not to invite my Fiance for goodness sakes.  It caused a lot of hurt feelings – tread softly in this area….

Post # 11
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

as a bride.

Post # 12
Bee
11949 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion

I’m of the opinion that when you’re making the guest list, you should be considerate enough to let everyone have a +1, even if that means cutting out some people.  So I say let him bring her. 

Post # 13
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

If you don’t really have any lines drawn, then I don’t see the harm in letting her come. I think it’s sweet that he’s asking and being persistent about it (though it is sort of rude to have someone ask for someone else to be invited to your wedding), but if this friend means that much to Fiance and obviously his girlfriend means a lot to him, then I would also invite her. If it makes your Fiance feel better, wait until all of the RSVPs come back.

Post # 14
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I’m going to disagree with Mouse just based on the fact that having family there > letting people bring random strangers.

It’s not a consideration thing. It’s having who you want at your wedding.

If you haven’t drawn lines or defined anything in stone, then you’re golden.

Post # 15
Member
3613 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’d definitely invite her. In all likelihood you propbably won’t reach the 120 number anyways and there’ll be room. Even if you do, obviously it’s really important to your friend and it’s just one person!

Post # 16
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

If he’s a good friend I would accept his offer. But tell him to keep it on the DL to everyone else so no one catches wind that this ‘plus one’ is allowed or gets the idea that they can pay for a plus-one if they want to bring one. B/c others might ask you the same thing and if you don’t want them to bring a stranger to your wedding they’ll be mad that you let this guy.

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