Post # 1
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
OK, so I didn’t know where else to put this so I put it in “family” – one of FI’s groomsmen, who has been a problem child from the beginng and I’ve posted about his nonsense a bunch and I’m not even getting into it here, is having his wedding the Saturday before Father’s Day. OK, fine. I mean, yeah it’s annoying and IMO a bit inconsiderate, but my parents and FI’s parents only live a few hours from where they are getting married and I told Fiance, OK well then we’ll just have to suck it up and leave early Sunday morning. Problem solved, right?
Fiance gets a call last night from his GMs Fiance – who he is NOT close to and doesn’t particularly like anyway – bitching at him about how we’re not planning on attending their Sunday brunch. She was all “you’re a GROOMSMAN you have to be there. this is unacceptable. blah blah bitchy blah” and Fiance finally, after all kinds of bullshit with them and their wedding, just kind of went off on her and was like “It’s Father’s Day. Kitty and I have obligations to OUR FAMILIES and frankly your phone call and your attitude about this is selfish and inappropriate and I can’t believe you had the nerve to call me and complain about this after all I’ve done for Groomsmen.” Then he hung up on her, called GM’s cell and was like DUDE do NOT ever have her call me for you again. If you have something to say to me, say it yourself and don’t go through your woman.
So basically Groomsmen apologized that his Fiance was a total bitch and inappropriate on the phone, but now basically they openly hate each other. Awesome. Whatever, though. You don’t call someone and tell them they are an a**hole for needing to get back to their family on Father’s Day when you’re having your wedding the night before Father’s Day. I’m so over this bitch. I don’t even want to go now.
Post # 3
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
You made me laugh out loud at “blah blah bitchy blah.” Hilarious.
I am so sorry that you guys have to deal with her craziness. Hopefully it is just temporary wedding insanity and she will chill and get over herself.
Post # 4
Member
1955 posts
Buzzing bee
- Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School
IDK, personally, I’d be pretty upset if a groomsmen or bridesmaid didn’t come to the brunch the next day…Can’t you just do Father’s Day on the next weekend or something? I understand your frustration with this Groomsmen, I’ve seen your other posts but in this case, I don’t think scheduling your wedding for the Saturday before Father’s Day (which is kind of a nothing holiday) is not inconsiderate and I’m kind of with the couple on this one, that you guys should attend the brunch and then go see your families afterwards…
Post # 5
Member
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
Maybe you have more traditions than I do for Fathers Day but I don’t think thats a “holiday” that people worry about planning around. I’d go to the brunch and hang out with my dad in the afternoon.
Post # 6
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
Wow, I can’t believe she had the nerve to call up your Fiance and attack him like that! I don’t think it’s a huge deal that their wedding falls on father’s day weekend (we went to a wedding this past weekend and were still able to celebrate mother’s day) however, that’s because we still had the rest of the weekend–all day Sunday to do so. I think it would be one thing if she kindly called your Fiance to request that you guys attend the brunch and perhaps leave a bit early…that’s probably what I’d do…but calling him and attacking him was inappropriate and rude! I’m glad your Fiance handled it the way he did. I can imagine in most cases, men wouldn’t even know how to respond to someone so irrational.
Post # 7
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
I agree with trailmix that the date for Father’s Day is pretty insignificant. I wouldn’t even think to check that my wedding didn’t fall adjacent to Father’s Day. It’s the sentiment behind that day that counts, there’s nothing wrong with hanging out with dad the next weekend and doing the same thing you would have done on Father’s Day. The idea is to celebrate your dad – as long as you do that, I don’t think the specific date you do it matters.
Post # 8
Member
2703 posts
Sugar bee
is there any way you guys could attend the brunch and maybe leave a bit early and see your dads in the late afternoon/evening?
i do see your point that the bride didn’t approach it the most mature manner, but being that she is high-strung about weddingtime, i am sure she’s not her usual self either.
hope it works out for the best for all of yoU!
Post # 9
Member
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
Ditto what trailmix and LGenz said.
Yeah, she does sound bitchy…but really, their wedding and events are supposed to be once in a lifetime; Father’s Day is every year.
Post # 10
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
What do you normally do on Father’s Day? Would your fathers really be upset if you came over later?
Post # 11
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
oh wow. i only recently figured out that my date is the day before father’s day, and I hope no one’s mad at me for it… I was thinking of putting something in the program listing all the dads attending or maybe just our dads to commemorate Father’s day, but i never thought anyone might have trouble seeing their dads the next day…..
Post # 12
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
I guess I have to go out on a limb and disagree. I think Father’s Day is a lot more important than the brunch after a wedding. Father’s Day IS an important holiday. And your FI’s friend and his bride-to-be should be accomodating to people who feel that way.
It sounds like your Fiance has gone out of his way to be helpful with this wedding and that she is ungrateful.
Post # 13
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
Have you spoken with your families about your plans for that day? I do put a lot of importance on Fathers’ Day, both my family and FI’s family do. I certainly don’t think it’s a ‘nothing holiday’. But, the couple getting married may not or may have a reason for getting married that close to a holiday. One of my friends got married the day before Easter this year but had a very reasonable reason for doing so. The bride was out of hand and should have handled this more tactfully, but needs to understand that people celebrate it differently and pt different importance on it and she should have known that this was a potential issue when they set their date.
Post # 14
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
I may in the minority here, but I think Kitty and her FI’s response were completely understandable and valid. Unless Fiance had previously agreed specifically to attend the Sunday brunch beforehand, I don’t think you can be mad at people, GMs or not, that they are going to be with their fathers on Father’s Day.
How close are (or were) the Fiance & the groom? If they see each other all the freakin’ time, I don’t see the big deal. I generally consider the brunch the next day to be another opportunity to spend time with those who are all together for that one wedding weekend, especially those you don’t see very often. But if they see each other all the time and he’s fulfilled all of his other Groomsmen duties, I’m not sure what the big deal is. If he’s an old buddy he doesn’t see that frequently, I could see the Groomsmen being upset that he’s not staying.
But nothing excuses her behavior or his. I know wedding planning is crazy stressful but an apology is definitely in order.
Post # 15
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee
I’m shocked that people feel like Father’s Day is a nothing holiday. If I were in a wedding that had a day after brunch on Father’s Day or Mother’s Day, I wouldn’t be able to attend because of a previous committment – our family celebration of Mother’s Day/Father’s Day. I think its incredibly rude of the bride to get mad at people when they aren’t able to attend because they’re spending time with their Dad on Father’s Day.
Post # 16
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
I agree with EmeraldR! Father’s Day is an important day for me and it is also the day that we conclude our annual family reunion. You live hours away so, you have to take the time out to travel. So I understand that going to the brunch will pretty much cause you to miss spending father’s day with your dads.
