Post # 1
I got a call from Fiance this morning that they took his grandma to the hospital for breathing issues. She’s been hospitalized multiple times over the past couple of years, has suffered 2 heart attacks in the past and a few other major issues and is possibly developing dimentia. The woman I met 3 years ago at his father’s funeral is not the woman I saw in December when we visited for Christmas, and it breaks my heart to know she probably won’t live long enough to see her only grandchild get married. We would love to do a small, quick wedding with family only for her benefit, but my insurance is crap on its own and worse for 2 people, so we want him to stay on his mom’s until he can find a job that’ll offer him benefits.
His mom doesn’t think she will survive past this summer, and I think it’s just hitting Fiance that this may be his last birthday with his grandmother around. I don’t know what to do or how to comfort him, especially since right now he’s there visiting them and I’m in another state. He isn’t very open about his feelings (the only time I’ve ever seen him cry was once right after his father died), but I can tell this is affecting him.
I just feel so sad because his family is tiny and he’s already lost his dad. I’m hoping some Bees who have gone through this will have some advice or just comforting words for me, I’m a basket case right now and trying not to let it show at work.
Post # 3
I’m so sorry to hear this, and I’ll keep you guys in my thoughts and prayers. All you can do is be there for him…let him talk, cry, be silent, or whatever he needs to do to process this and get through it. Hugs!
Post # 5
Thank you. Yeah, the “upside” is I do know how he grieves after going through the loss of his father with him… and that was a different thing, being a sudden, unexpected loss vs. this, which he’s been bracing for. But it’s still always difficult to lose people, no matter how prepared you are. Thank you all so much for the thoughts and the prayers. I do hope with all my heart that she doesn’t suffer, because I’d never want that – she’s such a wonderful woman.
Post # 6
I am so sorry. I feel for your Fiance.
My dad has 3-5 months to live, so he probably won’t make it past the summer too. He’s only 58, but has been battling cancer for 5 years. We even cancelled our Jackson Hole wedding which was to be in 4 months.
We’ll just wait to get married later in the year. No one wants to put on fake happy smiles for me to have my wedding, it would be not a joyful event.
As for what you can do? Well, my Fiance has been very helpful and comforting. Lots of hugs, willing to fly last minute for the weekend, just all around a gem.
Post # 7
@sienna76: I’m so sorry to hear about your dad, losing a parent is so tough. Much love to you and your family during this time. I agree, it’s hard to put on fake smiles and sometimes postponing events until a happier time is the best option.
FI’s grandma is home now. They’ve arranged for hospice care and she’s been given anywhere between 1 week to 3 months. Fiance was supposed to come home on Sunday, but now I’m thinking I might insist that he stay a while longer to be there for his mom, aunt and grandfather (as well as his grandmother).
Post # 8
Just wanted to update that she passed yesterday afternoon… Fiance came back home Sunday afternoon, but he did spend some time with her before he left. I’m glad she’s at peace and not in pain anymore, but I feel so sad for his mom and aunt to lose their mother and his grandfather to lose his wife of so many years.
Thank you to all the Bees who offered thoughts and prayers. We’ll be traveling out of state for the funeral later this week.