(Closed) FI's mom appalled at my intent of grad school this fall…

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
925 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

So wait, you want to go to grad school which I’m assuming starts this fall (so August-ish) and you’re getting married two months later, right? Won’t most of your wedding be planned by that time? I would assume that getting married/planning a wedding practically before starting grad school would be better than trying to plan for and pay for a wedding while you’re in grad school!!

Yeah, it seems like she just thought as soon as you were married that that would be your “job.”

I say, screw her. Go to grad school. If your fiance can do it (and if he’s fine with you doing it), then do it!!

Post # 4
905 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

As someone in the final stages of a PhD working on planning a wedding I say tell her to shove it where the sun don’t shine! That’s some high-falutin’ academic speak right there.

Several of my friends have gracefully gotten married while in grad school (more than one in October, even!). Hell, I won’t be done with my degree until after the wedding. While the hours of grad school are longer than a 9-5 job they’re often much more flexible and planning a wedding will allow you to escape from the pain that is academic reading–even if only for an hour at a time. 

We actually met in grad school, so we chose to wait to get married until at least on of us had a PhD. He proposed the day after he defended his dissertation. Maybe I’ll graduate in August 2013. We’ll see. Best of luck!

Post # 5
6123 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@beezkneez338:  Time to limit which details of your life you share with mom.

Post # 6
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Yeah…she sounds conservative and out-of-date. Super fun! Luckily, your life choices aren’t up to her, so i’d either stop discussing them with her, or just hold tight and stick to your guns if she is told what your life plans are.

Post # 7
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Some people have no idea how valuable education is.  

Post # 8
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@beezkneez338:  Uhhhh, this is your MILs business because??? 

Post # 9
5 posts
  • Wedding: June 2013

As a PhD student myself, I would suggest that planning a wedding is a much needed stress reliever during all of the academic milestones! It has kept me more positive, forward thinking, and connected to my fiance. You just have to remember to balance 🙂 Also, I agree with posts above.. this is really none of her business and comes across as ignorant.. I am biased, though! I imagine that she will have lots of opinions that don’t match your style later on.. You completely deserve 100% of whatever it is that you set your mind to!

Post # 10
26 posts
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m starting graduate school in September and getting married in October as well. I actually not stressed about the timing at all.

Post # 11
1070 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@beezkneez338:  I’m going to grad school AND working full time AND planning a wedding. You can do it!

Post # 12
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2005

Ah hah hah HAAAAH!

Fuck her.

Post # 13
3246 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@beezkneez338:  Well, well, she is most certainly wrong! I know TWO people in my class at grad school who are getting married this fall, which will be the fall of their second year– way more crazy that the fall of the first year! 

Sounds like she’s pretty stuck in the past/traditionalist weird mindset to me. Blech. Sorry you have to deal with someone like that.


Post # 14
34 posts

sorry you have to put up with that! it does sound like she is stuck in the past. you’ll show her! do it gal! 🙂

Post # 15
1497 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I was engaged for a year before I started planning. I started planning 5 months before the wedding date. At the same time I began wedding planning, I started grad school, after being out of school for 10 years. I won’t say it’s easy, but it’s not impossible. I like multi-tasking. 🙂

Post # 16
12247 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m sure you’ll plan a lovely wedding! 99% of it should be done by the time you start school, anyway!

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