- 4 years ago
I feel so guilty about this post, and about feeling this way, so no need to reiterate that I feel like a huge selfish person 🙁
My FI and I have been together for 3.5 years. When we met, I was finishing my last year of high school and was part time doing a lot of things on my own (I worked ahead in school) and he was in his last year of university (he took a 5th year) a couple of hours away. When he got out of school he really struggled to find a job, and ended up back at his previous summer job where we had originally met. He worked with animals and doing minor maintenance on farms for almost three of the years we’ve been together. Just this August, through a friend of my family’s who at one point taught little 3 year old sunday school, my FI got a job. It was his first career job, and it was honestly an absolute miracle and I was so happy that he was finally working in his field and getting experience.
Well, through a series of somewhat fortunate events, he met a guy and is now starting up a new office in our city of a major company with two other big branches in other cities. He’s second in command to the guy who manages the branch, and right now it’s just the two of them trying to find work. He officially accepted the job on the morning of December 28th, 2013, and on the night of December 28th, 2013 he asked me to marry him and I said yes.
So, we’re planning a June 2014 wedding, for life scheduling reasons, There’s tons to do, we’re doing our best to do it, I’m doing my best with school, and he’s doing his best with work.
Lately he gets 1 day notice, sometimes 6hrs notice before he has to go out of town for days at a time. He has all these events and meetings to attend outside of the workday, he’s in other cities doing other stuff, he’s at work on Saturdays or staying really late at night. I get it, my dad ran our family company for 15 years and before that another business, I know what it’s like to go to the office at 1am because we had a crisis.
I’m just feeling really neglected, and I get that he has tons to do and I am SO PROUD of him for stepping up the way he is and doing so much for this office. He’s really impressed his boss and the rest of the guys at the head office, he stayed at the CEO’s second house two weeks ago and was in meetings with them tons. They’re talking about giving him a much bigger role, which will mean a company car, tons of perks, and a much bigger salary. He’s even getting to go out in the field versus just sitting and doing paperwork like at his previous job.
But I guess I was out of the country for five days, he’s been out of town or super busy, and I was in a really tough class today when he texted and told me we couldn’t hang out this evening (I typically go to his condo on my way home from classes to wait out traffic, as he’s just before the traffic gets gross) because he’s going to an NHL game to schmooze with some really influential people in his industry. I get it, I’m happy he’s going and I know it’s important because it could be an opening for him and networking is hugely important, I know he’s sorry for it but…I’m just feeling like I’m put on the side.
He hasn’t had time to help me with getting my ring sized and I’ve had it for a month and a half, we’re going to shop for wedding bands at the same time because he custom designed mine and we need a special band to fit it. I’ve done absolutely everything for the wedding so far, he hasn’t even picked his groomsmen and we kinda need to get that done. He’s now taking over the photographer just because I’m scrambling to get other time-sensitive things done, but I’m literally carrying everything else, and he knows it and apologizes but like…I’m dyin’ over here.
I guess I knew he was going to have to travel some but he’s been asked to travel almost every second week now, and they’re talking sending him absolutely everywhere just last minute. And when I talked to him about a honeymoon, even a few days off, he told me he’ll take the Monday off after our Sunday wedding but he has to go back to work because summer is the busy season for them so his boss will want him back and he’ll only have time for us to go away probably on my Christmas break, but Christmas I generally spend a lot of time helping my family and we both have tons of family events to go to/I often get busy with exam stuff and planning for the next semester. And I know we don’t have a ton of money for a holiday far away, so we’d probably go for an actual out of town holiday another year, but maybe a night or two in a kind of touristy town nearby? Then he said that if he takes time off with me for even a week for a stay at home honeymoon that’s already a whole week out of his two weeks vacation.
I dunno, I kinda felt like I was worth a week of my husband’s vacation.
My father, a businessman, looked confused and said “I don’t know one boss who wouldn’t be totally okay with a guy going on his honeymoon.” like you don’t get married that often, ya know?
Maybe I’m crazy I’m just feeling pushed aside. I’m happy for him but after he sent me that text I just about broke down in tears in the middle of my economics lecture.