(Closed) FI`S parents & sister may be coming to live with us HELP

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Unless it would mean they’d be out on the street, I would never agree to let my IL’s move in with us. Hell, even if they would be out on the street I’d rather pay for them to rent a month to month apartment than be under the same roof for an extended period of time. I just don’t think it’s a good idea but then again, every family is different.

I’m curious, was this their plan all along or did something happen that rendered them homeless? It seems like poor planning on someones part.

ETA: Lol, I realize this makes me sound like a royal bitch. I love my IL’s, I really do, I just refuse to live with them. Been there, done that.

Post # 5
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m with @UpstateCait:   No way would I be ok with this.

So did they sell their home without having anothe rone lined up?  They can try to get the buyers to agree to let them live in the home while they look for something else, (a rent back agreement).  Otherwise this just sounds like veyr poor planning.

Post # 6
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I would ask them to check with FI’s other sister (down the road) first, before saying yes or no.  Maybe put it as, “we have a lot going on next year with the wedding, and this is our first home I want to enjoy with you and only you…” etc.  If that doesn’t work, maybe you and FI’s other sister can split the time (you take one month, she take the second).  In my eyes one month is better than two, which could turnig into 3, 4 or even 5. 

Post # 8
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@worried05: You said it would only be for a month or two. Why is that? Will they have other arrangements made in that time? Will those arrangements be concrete or something that could potentially fall through and leave them staying with you longer? Do you guys have enough room in your condo to accomidate an extra 3 people?

This is a decision that you have to make for yourself but if it were me, I wouldn’t allow it unless there were dire circumstances. If you do allow this to happen, you have every right to lay down ground rules. For one, Future Sister-In-Law wouldn’t be permitted to bring strangers into your home. It’s one thing if it’s her parents house and they allow it but this is your house and you shouldn’t have to worry about random people being in your space.

Post # 9
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@worried05:  Wow, someone screwed up there. Even buying a existing house could take time let alone the year or so that it could take to build something (just speculating, I don’t really know). They should make other arrangements. Why don’t they look for a rental for the time being? That would be the most logical move, if you ask me. 

Post # 10
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

@UpstateCait:  agreed.  They can do a short term rental while they make up their minds on what they want to do.  This is really not your problem that they completely failed to put any planning intot his situation.  Plus, what are they going to do with all their stuff?!

Post # 11
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m going to go against the grain here and say its okay, assuming its only temporary. It appears as though you have had your times where you lived at home for whatever reasons, ( perhaps it helped you in some way? Save money? or whatever) and its kind of like paying it forward.

But I also live with my Mother-In-Law and she will be living with us ( we own a home we use as a rental property right now) so, to me its normal. Family is big to us, and we would like to help out in whatever way we can.

 

Post # 12
Member
2603 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Not that I’d relish living with my ILs or anything, I do think that you ought to consider things just because this is your FI’s parents. I dunno, if my parents asked to stay with us, I might be hurt if my husband flat-out refused.

Do you get along with them okay?

Post # 13
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Eva Peron:  I think if it’s TEMPORARY, yes, but I would be nervous letting my ILs move in unless there were some clear plans in motion, instead of “yes, we’ll move out in 6 months,” then 6 months pass, and no progress has been made to find a new place to live. Not saying the OPs inlaws would be mooching like that, but you never know, and I would personally rather ask them to look at other options before moving in with me, than kicking them out after a year because they weren’t serious about the “temp” part.

Post # 14
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@BothCoasts:  See, I could see doing that if my mother in law was ill, or in some other way, the family was down on hard times. But it sounds like (to me) that they just sold their home with no plans and want to take advantage of their newest addition to the famiy… but I could be reading this all wrong….

Post # 15
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

If it were a week or two before they get possetion well then maybe but them not even knowing whats gowing on I would say no way. Let them rent (even help them by finding some places or if they have pets which cant go in a rental offer to babysit). Do not let this possible go on for ever, my inlaws omg I can just imagine it would all go on for years and years if I let them in.

Post # 16
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@love108:  That’s my thing. It seems as though these people don’t have any plans in motion so who’s to say that those 2 months won’t turn into 4 and then 6 or 8? It’s also not just the parents but also the adult SIL. If you ask me, it’s time for her to leave the nest considering her parents are homeless. 

The topic ‘FI`S parents & sister may be coming to live with us HELP’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors