Post # 1
I thought I was pretty good friend’s with my fiance’s sister. We’ve hung out together without the rest of the family, I dogsat her new puppy when she was nervous about leaving her alone, I got over the fact that she said she “didn’t want to resent me, but could see it happening,” and I asked her to be a bridesmaid in our wedding. I thought we had gotten over all the drama. Then last weekend when Fiance and I were dropping her off after a family outing, he asks if she’d considered going on vacation with us and their parents in a couple weeks. Part of her answer was that she could hardly stand being around us (FI, me, Future Mother-In-Law, and FFIL) for one day, let alone a long weekend. WHAT?! What the hell kind of comment is that to make?! Fiance kind of got over it the next day but I can’t seem to let it go. We have bent over backwards to make her feel like part of the group when we all hang out together, and mind you, we are about eight years younger than she is.
Sure, I bet it’s lonely when your cousins and younger brother are getting married, but this attitude and her comments are just hurtful. Her entire life is work and coming home at night to her dog. When we try to include her in everything we do, and she comes at us with comments like that, I really feel like I’m done with it.
Am I just being as ridiculous as she is? Should I just get over it too and get back on track? I haven’t talked to her since unless she directly asked me something. I just feel so mad that she would tell her own brother that she couldn’t stand being around him and his family. WTH?!
Post # 3
Honestly I would let it go. She sounds super immature for someone who is eight years older than you! Dont be like her and just move on.
Post # 4
I would let it go. It sounds like she has her own insecurities and resentments, etc going on, and it wasn’t meant as a slight at you. Just be nice to her, and try to move past it. As someone who has had major blowouts witht heir Future Sister-In-Law I can assure you it’s just so not worth the aggrivation.
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
Maybe she meant being around her family in general, not just you and your FI? Or was she joking? If you are certain she directed that towards you and your Fiance specifically, I would stop going out of your way to invite her to hangouts anymore. But, sometimes people just get easily annoyed when they are with their whole family.
Post # 6
Let it go. She sounds unhappy and misery loves company. She may snap out of it when she realizes all the fun stuff you are doing without her.
Post # 7
You can’t make someone enjoy spending time with their family.
Post # 8
She’s the one missing out. Don’t let it bug you.
Post # 9
I would let it go. I say that she feels like you guys are being pushy (about spending time together) and making her feel pitied (sp?) and that you are judging her way of life.
Post # 10
Poor girl. She must be so miserable.
All you can really do with family is love them, tell them they’re always welcome, and then let them come and go as they need to. It’s such a shame that she has to be so negative.
Post # 11
Of course she feels that way, as she’s the only single person in ‘coupled’ relationships and I’m sure feels like the 5th wheel. Isn’t it understandable? She’s the odd man out and probably feels like everyone’s attempts to include her isn’t being done because you all want her there, but maybe you just pity her. Her cynicism is a defense mechanism more than anything else, I think.
All you can really do is accept her attitude about it and keep asking. She’ll either go along with it or leave herself out. Her choice, but I wouldn’t take it personally. She’ll have to work out her feelings on her own….
Post # 12
I understand that she’s lonely and probably sad, and I know there’s nothing I can do to change that. I just feel angry when she lashes out on her family who loves her and would do anything for her. I don’t understand where it comes from…
Post # 13
There is no excuse for that kind of rudeness. I agree with others that you should let it go, but only because there’s no sense in letting such a remark cause you pain.
I would also remain polite, remain open to the possibility that she might come around, and be welcoming if/when she does, but I would not continue to bend over backward to try to win her over. At this point, the ball’s in her court.