(Closed) FI’s sister is making us sad

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
5242 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Honestly I would let it go. She sounds super immature for someone who is eight years older than you! Dont be like her and just move on.

Post # 4
Member
2786 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would let it go. It sounds like she has her own insecurities and resentments, etc going on, and it wasn’t meant as a slight at you. Just be nice to her, and try to move past it. As someone who has had major blowouts witht heir Future Sister-In-Law I can assure you it’s just so not worth the aggrivation.

Post # 5
Member
3770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

Maybe she meant being around her family in general, not just you and your FI?  Or was she joking?  If you are certain she directed that towards you and your Fiance specifically, I would stop going out of your way to invite her to hangouts anymore.  But, sometimes people just get easily annoyed when they are with their whole family.

Post # 6
Member
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Let it go. She sounds unhappy and misery loves company. She may snap out of it when she realizes all the fun stuff you are doing without her.

Post # 7
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You can’t make someone enjoy spending time with their family.

Post # 8
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

She’s the one missing out. Don’t let it bug you.

 

Post # 9
Member
8438 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I would let it go. I say that she feels like you guys are being pushy (about spending time together) and making her feel pitied (sp?) and that you are judging her way of life.

Post # 10
Member
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Poor girl. She must be so miserable. 

All you can really do with family is love them, tell them they’re always welcome, and then let them come and go as they need to. It’s such a shame that she has to be so negative. 

Post # 11
Member
5762 posts
Bee Keeper

Of course she feels that way, as she’s the only single person in ‘coupled’ relationships and I’m sure feels like the 5th wheel. Isn’t it understandable? She’s the odd man out and probably feels like everyone’s attempts to include her isn’t being done because you all want her there, but maybe you just pity her. Her  cynicism is a defense mechanism more than anything else, I think.

All you can really do is accept her attitude about it and keep asking. She’ll either go along with it or leave herself out. Her choice, but I wouldn’t take it personally. She’ll have to work out her feelings on her own….

Post # 13
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

There is no excuse for that kind of rudeness.  I agree with others that you should let it go, but only because there’s no sense in letting such a remark cause you pain.

I would also remain polite, remain open to the possibility that she might come around, and be welcoming if/when she does, but I would not continue to bend over backward to try to win her over. At this point, the ball’s in her court.

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