(Closed) FI’s Sister Want to Ruin My Wedding- Help

posted 7 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 3
Member
46680 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

They are the ones who have stated that they won’t be in the wedding unless you concede to their demands. So- don’t.

Wait for an appropriate time when you really need a yes or no from them re being in the wedding party. The tell them, “I need to do _____ by ______ for my bridesmaids. I need to confirm if you are going to be a bridesmaid wearing the dress I have chosen or not.”

Don’t get angry or upset- just stick to your script ” All I need is a yes or no”.

I don’t think you or your Fiance should adopt passive aggressive behavior. Send them an invitation, let them decide if they are attending or not.

Post # 4
Member
2157 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Wow, after all that there is no way I’d want those girls in my wedding party.  I would just send them an invite and say they can come to the wedding but hey, since you don’t have the dress I guess you aren’t in the bridal party.

Post # 5
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I don’t really have any suggestions. I think if they show up and act out people won’t view it as a reflection on you and (hopefully) they’ll be shamed.

But this, His sisters are WEDDING TERRORISTS. and I don’t negotiate with terrorists. Made me laugh really hard.

Post # 6
Member
467 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@julies1949: + 1

OP they’ve already said they wont rock up if you don’t do things their way… so just don’t. Send an invite and see what happens. They sound really immature so just take the high ground. I’m sorry about them booking the Hotel Suite though. Is there anywhere else you could stay?

Good luck! I hope it works out.

Post # 7
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

 the NIGHT before my wedding

i had to laugh at this because your Fiance proposed to you the night before her wedding and you didnt think it was a big deal

Post # 8
Member
749 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

This sucks 🙁 I hope it all works out for you. I wouldn’t give in to their demands. Its your wedding, don’t let their immaturity, and your ILs willingness to try to control you ruin your and your FIs day. I am glad that your Fiance is with you in this.

Post # 11
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

the wedding was the OTHER sister’s

doesnt matter -im guessing if one was upset with you then the other one is also, i understand about him being in the navy but i suggest he should have waited until after the wedding but its a moot point now and im guessing they are still pissed about it

the futuer inlaws are acting bitchy and i suggest you stop trying to include them and send them an invite like any other guests and hope they show up for your FIs sake

Post # 13
Member
1527 posts
Bumble bee

It’s not your fault when your Fiance proposed. I mean, if you were showing off the ring and demanding attention at the wedding I could understand them being upset, but that still doesn’t mean it’s okay to act like that.

I would just invite them and let them choose to come or not. Stick to what you want and if they’re not happy with it they don’t have to show. If the sisters don’t want to wear the dress, they don’t have to be in the wedding. And it’s just childish to have the birthday party right before your wedding…and just trying to get back at your for you fiancé’s choice. 

I would just be honest about how you feel and how you’re hurt and don’t understand what you did and would like to talk about it if it comes up.

At the end of the day, it’s your wedding. You need to be happy with it. It’s about you, not them.

Post # 14
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I don’t have much advice, just wanted to say that I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this. But it sounds like you and your Fiance are handling it perfectly, and I’m glad you have him supporting you in all this!

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