Post # 1
- Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia
My FI (and I) wished my (late) dad was around to give advice for FI’s work situation. My dad’s always full of wise sayings. FI really enjoyed talking to my dad on Skype about work since my dad used to work for a LNG plant for 30 years back in my home country.
So, long story short, FI indirectly works in the oil industry — currently four hours by driving away from our home. The drive is treacherous; icy in current winter conditions. He was working 10 days on, 4 days off. (To put things into perspective, 1 day = 12 hours of work) It was going all great until his boss makes a decision without consulting the staff. The company he’s working for has a known history for driving away many good employees.
(So, you can imagine how tough it’s been trying to schedule romantic nights and try to fit in any sort of wedding planning in 3 nights or less.)
Here’s the kicker: there are two other employees who want out of the site, but FI had wanted to stay.
Here’s the shitter: his boss does not respect his 3 weeks off. FI got asked to work two days during his scheduled time off. If that’s not enough, FI got put on the shittiest schedule of working 16 days on and 5 days off. (To which I said, well.. there goes our life and wedding planning. We may have to postpone our wedding with that kind of schedule!)
With his new schedule, I’m allowed to visit him at his hotel/motel on weekends, which is about 45 minutes drive out from the city. (Take note: I don’t trust myself driving on the highways alone)
We’ve got six months left to the wedding. We have yet a lot to do: invites, contacting his relatives in another province, contact our photographer, decide what we want for our honeymoon; etc.
Option 1: Stay with the company.
Option 2: Quit and find something closer to home.
Post # 3
@Cynderbug: Gosh, this is a tough one! I do think that emotional well-being at work is really important, and if your FI isn’t feeling respected or happy at work, then maybe it’s time to move on. All that being said, I totally understand if he chooses to stick it out for a little while. Has he had a chance to browse the job market in his line of work?
Post # 4
Can you live on your salary alone? If not, I’d have him keep the job and look for something else in the mean time.
Post # 5
@Cynderbug: Now is not the time to quit a job. You’ve got the wedding to pay for, and your new life to save for as well. If he starts to look for another job, that would be a good way to prepare to make a job move, but I wouldn’t recommend just up and quitting.
In the scheme of things, planning the wedding is small potatoes. You can do everything on the list and save major decisions for when you are together. A wedding is nothing more than a giant party, so try and keep it all in perspective. Sorry to be so blunt, but in this economy, a steady job is so important.
One thing your Fi can do is document the lapse in his pre-approved scheduled time off and send it to the HR department. If he has the structure in place, he may also want to talk to them about his concerns. Unless it’s a tiny company, he should have a way to make his grievances known. Good luck!
Post # 6
Surely in 6 months your fiance can find a job that he enjoys more and is respected a bit at. Don’t just quit, but start hardcore looking. Hard when you are working 12 hour days, but necessary for his wellbeing and for his future family.
Unless you guys can afford it financially, I would suggest not quitting right away.
Post # 7
Other: stay with the company until he has another job lined up closer to home, and then quit.
Post # 8
I think he should stay with the company until he finds another job.
Post # 9
yeah, i agree that he should wait until he gets a different job and then quit the one he has now.
Post # 10
I wouldn’t want to quit a job unless I had another one lined up, no matter how bad the circumstances. I know it sucks but can you afford to only be on your salary for an extended period of time if he does quit?
I hope things work out for the two of you.
Post # 11
I don’t think it’s ever wise to quit a job without another one lined up, as echoed by PPs. Talk with your FI and ask him if he can start looking for a new job, maybe when the new year starts. Good luck!
Post # 12
Don’t quit, find a closer/better job FIRST and then quit.
A wedding isn’t a good excuse to stay with a crappy job.
Post # 13
@Cynderbug: What does he do? I am guessing he is in a Trade? Seeing as you live in Canada (me too) I am venturing to guess this is in Alberta or Saskatchewan. My fiance is in the trades and he has only ever been unemployed by choice. Generally speaking the tradesmen around here (we are in alberta) can find a new job pretty quick. While I wouldnt suggest leaving a job withour having a new one lined up, I’m sure he can put the feelers out for a new job and come up with something shortly after the new year.
Post # 14
I also agree that he should stay until he finds a new job because you have a wedding to pay for, and also because as we get closer to the holidays, there are going to be much fewer opportunities than during the rest of the year. I find that there are more jobs available from the end of January onwards.
Do you have a less demanding job? And do you have a good understand of what he does, his experience, and skills? Maybe when he’s away, you can look for work for him, and then present options to him – and he should of course also look aggressively whenever he has down time. Commit to sending one or two resumes a day as a minimum. If, like a PP said, jobs are abundant where you are, perhaps he could find something soon, that’s closer to home. Is it an option to move closer to his work? And why does he want to stay with the company while everyone else wants to quit?
I think either way he’s going to want/need to leave. It’s just a matter of either toughing it out now so you have money for the wedding and then taking your time searching later, or looking aggressively now (which uses a lot of time and energy) so that you can be in a better position to plan for your wedding later. But I wouldn’t recommend ever quitting without having another job lined up first.
Post # 15
@Cynderbug: Just start looking and if he finds something better then he could quit. I don’t think it’s ever a good idea to quit a job without something else lined up. I have a feeling you live in Alberta (am I right?) so there must be a lot of other oil field jobs around.
Post # 16
@Cynderbug: I think you might need to do a little “manning up” about your FI’s work arrangements. The economy is still not doing that great in many areas, and I’ve seen people in every kind of job forced to do things they didn’t want to so that they could stay employed. If he has lots of connections and can get something else BEFORE he gives notice at his current job, that would be the best course of action.
Given your FI’s line of work, there is no guarantee that a new employer would be much different. And depending on how much seniority he has at his current job, he might be in a worse position at a new job since he’d be “last hired” and “first fired” if the company ran into trouble. My brother and father both worked in the grocery business, and for their entire careers they NEVER had two days off in a row, and NEVER had a Saturday off, except when they had specifically requested time off.
If this is the general type of work schedule he’s had in the past (although I understand it’s gotten worse lately), I would say that for the time being you need to chill out and accept it. It isn’t doing him or you any good if you are being aggravated all the time — and making passive-aggressive comments about postponing the wedding aren’t helping either.
I wish you all the best!!!