Post # 1
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
I really need some help here bees. My fiancé is insisting he doesn’t want ANY groomsmen. He doesn’t want to make anyone obligated to be there. He doesn’t see the significance. And as a side note, says the whole thing is “morphing into something bigger than when we first started planning. When we first got engaged we had talked about having a small destination wedding at a B&B, with 20 people or less. I then realized that I DO want to have a party with ALL our friends and family. Still on the small side, under 100 guests. Initially I didn’t think I wanted bridesmaids either (because of the obligation thing) but as planning progressed I realized I do want my girls with me getting ready, as do they, and to have them walk down the aisle and be a part of the ceremony. My actual vision was they could all walk down the aisle like normal but then take a seat in the front row when the officiant says to everyone “please be seated”. That way the ceremony can still be just the two of us standing up there.
So here’s what I could do, assuming he doesn’t budge: have my bridesmaids walk down the aisle one by one and then sit on my side when the officiant has everyone sit. He can do what he wants. Have no best man, no best man speech, no pictures with his “guys”. I can still do all my pictures with the girls. We probably won’t have any pictures of the “whole bridal party” but I guess I can live without that. Has anyone seen a wedding like this? Five bridesmaids and zero groomsmen?
Any advice is appreciated.
Post # 3
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
@RiverBride13: I think that’s fine, have your girls walk down and then sit with the guests. You can have pics of you, Fiance, and the girls too, but if you don’t want to you don’t have to. I think it’s nice to have people surround you on your day to get ready with you, help calm your nerves, and share your happiness. I haven’t been to many weddings, so no I haven’t seen anything like that, but who cares, do what works for you guys, it’s your wedding! 🙂
Post # 4
Member
10 posts
Newbee
I am having 8 bridesmaids and 3 bridesguys and Fiance will have no guys, maybe just his sisters. He just did’t want anyone. I was a bridesmaid in 4 weddings within just a few months so I reciprocated on the bridesmaid front and so now I have a huge wedding party. It is unusual, but who cares!
Post # 5
Member
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@RiverBride13: Not weird. A bridal party can be as big or small as you like. Will it look a bit odd to have so many bridesmaids and zero groomsmen? I would notice if I were a guest but I wouldn’t be upset by it; it’s your wedding and you get to decide who is involved in your day.
However, based on personal experience I would wonder why he doesn’t have at least one friend he would want to be involved as a groomsman. Is he getting ready entirely alone? It didn’t strike me as odd that my husband didn’t want groomsmen until we later got divorced and I realized he no substantial long term relationships and no family bonds (he didn’t even want to invite his mother to the wedding.) Part of that loaner behavior ended up causing him to disengage from me and that ultimately led to our divorce.
Not trying to scare you but I would talk to him to find out if he’s okay with everything, especially the wedding planning and the impending marriage.
Post # 6
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
@beachbride1216: he has plenty of friends to choose from, that’s not the issue, he just doesn’t want to make them feel “obligated” to do anything for the wedding. the suits, the speeches, the rehearsal, etc. He says if they are able to come to the wedding then that is enough for him.
I’m still hoping he will change his mind, but if not, I’ve decided it will all be fine!
Post # 7
Member
407 posts
Helper bee
@RiverBride13: Im in the same boat as you. My Fiance does not want any groomsmen nor a best man. I am going to have my one friend and my sister as bridesmaid tho. We are going to do something similar to you guys.. Have the bridesmaids walk up alone and they will be seated. My sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor so she will come up and take my flowers and fix my train etc one I get up there and then be seated. My other bridesmaid has an amazing voice so I was thinking on having her sing but this has not been discussed yet. My Fiance is close with his grandfather and would like him to come up and give him the rings when the time comes, and then be seated. Soo yes im sure its been done before, and if not then who cares lol.
We are also having his littler sister be the flower girl so we will take pictures with her together and then most likely just me and my brides maids and then just the two of us, or maybe all together- idk I think you mine as well take a group shot, it doesnt hurt, if you dont like it then you have plenty others!
