Post # 1
With five days until the wedding (EEKS!) I get a call from FI this morning stating that some cousins are HIGHLY pissed off because they just heard about the wedding and think they aren’t invited. Since sending the invites out 7 weeks ago, we have found that about 7-10 people did not receive their invitations. It really sucked and I felt so bad that our dear family and friends assumed that they weren’t invited.
So being the ever gracious and accomodating bride, I placed calls to these people, apologized, explained the postal situations and asked them to please attend and even resent invitations. Right now, these cousins are so upset and it is apparently affecting the entire family. I was wondering why FMIL and SIL were a little short with me yesterday, but COME ON. Obviously we are going to do everything we can to rectify this, but I’m just the type of person that if we do everything we can and they are unresponsive or refusing our apology, I’m going to mo ve the F#CK on.
Any tips to deal with this before I face the family tonight after work?
Post # 2
ShabbyChicBee: Did FMIL not see the guest list before invitations went out and honestly thought you didn’t invite these cousins? Did you not require RSVPs?
Bottom line is this – you can’t control the mail, you fixed the situation as soon as you find out. If they are all mad at you over this, then that is absolutely ridiculous on their part. You just have to take comfort in the fact that you’ve done what you can to fix it and then drop it.
Post # 3
that completely sucks – and I know how you feel, we know of 1 that’s gone missing so I’m been frantically trying to check and make sure people received theirs (we’re still 7 weeks to the wedding).
There’s not much more you can do other than appologize and blame the mail…
Post # 4
It would’ve been nice for them to mention at some point in the last six and a half weeks that they didn’t receive their invitations. We heard immediately that FI’s aunt didn’t get hers at exactly the same time FMIL did and how could we possibly have put the wrong zip code on it and didn’t she tell us about this about this after the save the dates went out and we should probably give her an extra one because now she’ll never get it.
Is there a way you could scan a copy of the invitation and email it to them so your bases are even extra covered?
Post # 5
You apologized, there’s not much more you can do imo, they just need to get the f*ck over it. It’s not like you can control the mail. Do they need proof they were invited or something?? Maybe you should bring a copy of your guest list to show them they were definitely on there and you didnt NOT invite them and are just trying to put them in now.
Kidding… kind of….
Post # 6
There’s a side to me that says anyone who feels SO entitled to attend a wedding that they’ll express how pissed off they are at not getting an invitation from the get-go (rather than assuming some sort of postal error has been made) could jolly well stay pissed off!
However, that’s not a mature, gracious, or sensible way to deal with the problem so I think you just have to express, again, how sorry you are that they are amongst SEVERAL OTHER guests who also failed to receive the invitations they were sent. Having discovered this very unfortunate failure in the postal service you immediately rectified it. Hence your call to them.
If they can’t accept your perfectly reasonable apology then yes, move the fuck on. Clearly they would far rather enjoy playing the victim than they would support your wedding.
Post # 7
ShabbyChicBee: you cant help what gets lost in the mail. I would apologize again, but if they are still pissed off then its really whatever. no need to be stressing over it especially when you made it clear they were invited. it is reallly unfortunate though especially this close to the wedding.
are these cousins just now coming forward less than a week until the wedding or did they state a month ago they didnt get invites ? If this occurred a month ago then I can kind of see why they would be a little ticked off because it clearly has not been rectified even though its less than a week out..
Post # 8
Yep. Just now coming around with this information. Are you that disconnected form the family that you’re just now “finding out?” I call bullshit on that one. I just find it hard to believe that this one little mishap that we had no control over is shifting the entire family dynamics. And so far, has anyone ASKED what happened? Nope, they’re all pissed off without even knowing the other side.
I told FI that if anyone is pissed after this, refer them to me and I will squash this. I have been so completely sensitive to everyone’s feelings during the wedding process but I have no patience right now! There’s so much other stuff to focus on and be HAPPY ya ladies know???
Post # 9
ShabbyChicBee: I can kind of understand that they’re a little skeptical that several invitations from their side of the family were lost, HOWEVER, they have acted very rudely. They are not entitled to an invitation and should certainly be gracious enough to accept your apology.
As for what you should do – well, the invitations were lost. You can explain again – if asked – that you mailed the invitations and you don’t know why they weren’t received, that you are mortified so you called and apologized and invited them and resent new invitations. You’ve done all you can do. Don’t let them roast you over the coals for this or place all the blame on YOU. Your FI should absolutely deal with this – its his family.
Post # 10
Zhabeego: Your FI should absolutely deal with this – its his family.<br /><br />100% don’t get involved any further than you are. You will end up getting the brunt of the bad feelings. They are acting ridiculous but you have no control over how they choose to react.