(Closed) Flakey Bridesmaids…need HELP!

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010 - Stage 6 Steiner Studios

I think you should ask her to step down. It’s still early in the process and she hasn’t spent any $ or time yet on  being your bridesmaid so she won’t feel like she wasted her time. More importantly, it’s your wedding and you should not have the added stress of dealing with other people who aren’t your closest friends for the next 7 months — planning a wedding is already stressful enough! Did your friend really want to be *your* bridesmaid? Or did she just say yes to be polite / walk down the aisle with her boyfriend. Since she hasn’t responded to you at all, I think it’s fair to end it, politely of course. She will still be able to attend as a guest of her boyfriend, but it will be less stressful (for both of you) if she is not in the wedding. In the end, you don’t want to look your memories of this perfect day to be soured by someone who didn’t want it to be perfect too. Hope this helps and good luck!

Post # 4
1 posts

hmmm…I’ve been having the same problem. Bridesmaid has been practiacally non-existent in the whole planning process. Her and I were actually really good friends but we have grown apart in the year and a half engagement! She did make it to the shower and put on the "good bridesmaid role" but in reality did virtually nothing to contribute to the shower.

Less than a week till the wedding she informed another bridesmaid that she might not make it for the rehearsal dinner and have to leave early during the wedding, because of a new job…Once fiance and I learned of this, we told her she needed to choose one or the other. The wedding is much more than just pictures and walking down the aisle!

So I got the dress back and found someone who truley wants to be a part of our special day to step up! Although its been stressful, I feel much better knowing someone that really cares and loves us is standing up for us!

Post # 5
425 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

It sounds like she isn’t very reliable.  I would just go forward with all the plans with the other girls.  Just call her and tell her whats going on (so she can’t say you left her out).  Tell her that if she needs get you her dress size to order her dress by X/X/09 with the payment of $xx.00 for the dress.  

If she can’t do the shower/bach party cruise with you, for whatever reason then fine, but you need to get a dress for her still.  Talk to your Fiance about this, since he is better friends with her.  See what he says.  

IF she still hasn’t replied to you about the dress and is still showing no interest in being a part of the wedding, then ask her to step down.  I think since your Fiance asked you to have her in your wedding then if you at least make an attempt (which you have been) at getting her involved then your Fiance hopefully will understand why you may need to ask her to step down.


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