- 5 years ago
- Wedding: December 2015
I’m getting pretty sick and tired of my flakey friends. I know that most people have atleast one flakey friend, but lately I’ve had to deal with 5 of my close friends bailing on me, forgetting that we’ve made arrangements to meet up, and postponing a coffee date or catch up about 3 or more times. Sometimes I just feel like cutting them all out, or pulling my hair out, or I feel like just throwing the towel in and not bothering.
The one friend I have known for 10 years. We don’t see each other too often, but I really enjoy seeing her when I can. She has used EVERY excuse in the book. We would arrange a time and date to catch up, and on the day, an hour beforehand she would text me telling me she had to go into university for a last minute meeting. I believed her excuses at first, but now that I am at the exact same university as she went to (she has now graduated) I know that the lecturers usually give at least a weeks notice before a meeting. I have only had to cancel on my friend once, which was for her graduation dinner. I felt awful. There was a muddle up in the plans (I thought I was meeting her at one place at 7, she thought I had agreed – which I didn’t, to meet her at 6 at another place) her dinner was a long way from my house, and I rely on public transport (I didn’t drive at all at the time) and I would have had to catch 4 buses to the dinner, and would have arrived 2 and a half hours late. She went crazy, and sent me abusive text messages, and pretended that she was cancelling the dinner (she sent a fake text that she had apparently sent to her other friends, saying the dinner was off etc) I apologised, we got over it, but she still bails on me atleast 80% of the time.
Another friend of mine I have known for the same amount of time. She is one of my dearest friends, but she has recently started cancelling on me at the last minute, or making plans with me to catch up, and then forgetting about it and making plans with her other friends. It sucks. I was supposed to see her for lunch 2 weeks ago. I made cupcakes, salads, and got croissants etc for lunch. I got ready and waited, and waited. Later on that day I got a text message saying that she had no credit on her phone to text me, and that her internet wasn’t working properly. I believed her, and we postponed our meeting for yesterday. Yesterday morning I saw that she texted me saying that she forgot that she made plans to meet up with another friend, and she asked if we could catch up today. I said yes, and then 20 minutes before we were supposed to meet up she texted me asking if we could meet up 2 hours later. I agreed to it, and then about 15 minutes before we were supposed to meet up she said that she couldn’t, and asked if I wanted to catch up a bit later. I replied saying that it would be okay, and I haven’t heard from her since (2 hours later) I’m super cut up about it.
My 3 friends will message me on facebook or will text me saying they miss me, want to catch up, etc. I’ll reply, and then I wont hear from them for weeks, but I’ll see them on Facebook replying to others.
I feel like just cutting everyone out, having no friends rather than friends that can’t be there for me, and are unreliable. I smile, say it’s okay, and try and forgive them (everyone has their own stuff going on etc.) but I really can’t take much more. This is really pulling me down, making me wonder what the heck is wrong with me, if they even like me at all, and is turning me into an anxious mess. These girls are who I’d pick as Bridesmaids, but now I’m not too sure….
Advice bees? Has anyone else experienced this? If so, what did you do? I don’t want to throw all of these friendships away.