(Closed) Flakey friends.

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
47189 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Rafissch:  Moving and making new friends can be hard. It can also make other situations seem worse when you have yet to make new friends.

Having said that, why do you expect new behavior from a friend you have had for years?

“She has always done this “

Time for you to work on making some new friends where you live. Winter is hard because people don’t get out as much, but spring is on its’ way. There are meetup groups for everything, everywhere. Find one for an interest or hoby that you have. Meet some new women, invite them to go for coffee after the activity.

Post # 3
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Rafissch:  I know how you feel. I have had a couple friends like this and eventually they just fizzle out. I know it’s hard to make new friends in a new town. That’s what I’m going through right now. I’m trying to make friends from work, and I starting joining local workout groups and pick up sports… maybe that’s an option for you?

I also know what you mean about feeling jaded about the whole bridal experience, damn you tv and movies! I def had different expectations. We decided to get married at home so have the ‘whole experience’, except it was way more work than it was worth. My wedding events were poorly planned and sad… at my bachelorette there was no reference to me getting married! lol.. my moh went MIA and nothing was planned. My point, it can always be worse! 🙁

I’m sorry you feel alone, hopefully you’re able to make some new friends soon!

Post # 4
Member
1273 posts
Bumble bee

You need to make new friends, hopefully less flaky ones. Try meetup.com and find people with common interests locally, so you know you’ll have something to talk about. You might try couples meetups as well, so you don’t have to feel nervous going alone and maybe your Fiance can make new friends as well.

I did that when I moved to a new city and have now made friends with a girl I know is going to be one of my bridesmaids when I get married. I used to be super shy as well, but she was an outgoing person so we compliment each other.

Post # 5
Member
28 posts
Newbee

hey girl, 

I’m so sorry your friends are being crappy to you!! They should be making a big deal about you during this time… your Maid/Matron of Honor should be planning your shower  – are you sure maybe she is, and it isn’t just a surprise?? I think it is usually a surprise ? 

Maybe you can sign up for some classes in your area, like exercise, dance, cooking etc something like that?? I agree with the meetup thing, my cousin used that to meet friends. I would be the same way about going to meet new people though so I feel for you – it is HARD to make new friends as an adult. I only have like 2 close girlfriends now that I’m 30 and they are in my wedding along with my cousin and my future sister in law. 

Do your fiance’s friends have gfs or wives that you could double date with ??? 

 

Good luck honey!!

Post # 6
Member
3611 posts
Sugar bee

Rafissch:  The part about your best friend repeatedly rescheduling your weekend plans sucks, I definitely sympathize with you there. She is not in the wrong for having plans with her family (I wouldn’t call that “catering to her family’s needs”), but she should have been better about checking her schedule and letting you know which weekends actually work for her and which ones don’t.

As for the rest of your post, it’s unreasonable to expect your friends to take the entire week of the wedding off of work or help you plan your wedding generally – that’s your job and your FI’s job. Remember that your wedding isn’t the most important thing in anyone’s life except for you, your Fiance, and maybe your parents. If I started talking to my friends about tablecloth shades, they would probably fall asleep, or better yet, change the subject. No one is that interested in the nitty-gritty details of someone else’s wedding.

There is also no obligation on your bridesmaids’ or MOH’s part to throw you a shower or bachelorette, and it sounds like your Maid/Matron of Honor is coming through on the bachelorette. I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I think you need to seriously adjust your expectations of your friends’ level of involvement in your wedding and focus on the positive rather than the negative.

Post # 8
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Rafissch:  Hey, if you can’t complain on online forums, where can you? Lol. Don’t feel bad, it’s ok to have feelings! It hurts when people turn out to be not the people you thought they would be.

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