Post # 1
I’m my sister’s Maid/Matron of Honor next fall. My sister’s best friend from college was really excited about the whole wedding planning process at first and was really organized and motivated. We joked about her being the 2nd Maid/Matron of Honor. Then things with her bf weren’t going well and she started to slip away. Now she’s been nothing but extra stress on the process.
My sister had to practically give her an ultimatum in order to get her dress ordered. She won’t go shoe shopping with the other girls, or make any effort to get shoes herself. My sister has to constantly babysit her and make sure she’s getting her stuff done. Then I also remind everyone gently so my sister isn’t so Bridezilla because she isn’t being one at all.
As the Maid/Matron of Honor, I’m leading the planning efforts on the shower and the bachelorette party. All of the girls have been really responsive and I don’t have to worry about them forgetting where to be when. This Bridesmaid or Best Man will sporadically email me (way later than when I requested a reply) with some random idea that she’s going to go execute. It’s not that I’m a control freak, but I’d like us to all work together to some capacity. I don’t even need everyone to be giving massive amounts of time to the wedding planning, but I’m tired of worrying about her showing up a week late to the shower. My sister’s also fed up and clearly doesn’t need anything else to worry about with 5 months to go.
So far, my sister is micromanaging which she hates. And I’m babysitting everyone when I really only need to babysit one person. I don’t want anyone to feel singled out, but I also don’t want 6 girls annoyed at me or my sister. Just wanted to see if anyone had any advice for dealing with flaky BM’s. Thanks!!
Post # 3
I’m having kind of the same situation but the flake is my sister! Man, can you be my sister? LOL!
Post # 4
At this point, I wouldn’t worry about singling her out. Babysitting everyone may just annoy the others, especially when it may seem clear to everyone who the target is – everyone but the flaky Bridesmaid or Best Man, most likely.
Can you reach out to her one-on-one and say you’re excited about your ideas, but would like to function more as a team? That may help her get on board.
Post # 5
<p class=”MsoNormal”>Thats a tough one! I can relate because my Maid/Matron of Honor has been a bit flaky herself, in a very similar situation. After years of ramming it in my head that when the wedding finally came she HAD to be the Maid/Matron of Honor (we’ve known each other since being in diapers) we got to the planning process and she started having a terrible time with her long-time boyfriend. At first I was upset, but after talking to a lot of friends and family, I realized that she was having a hard time being happy for me when her life was completely crumbling around her. It sounds like this Bridesmaid or Best Man may be in a similar situation. Remember the last time you had a major breakup? I know from personal experience it can be really depressing and it can be really hard to face the everyday world, let alone a big celebration of someone elses love success. That being said, maybe try and focus her on aspects of the wedding that aren’t so…lovey dovey. Maybe have her help more with the bachlorette party? While I think she probably needs more TLC than babysitting, and you certainly don’t need to be putting a lot of time into someone who is slacking, you may get a better response if you try and be sympathetic….I am very curious to hear other responses!
Post # 6
Thanks for your support ladies!
Update: Flaky Bridesmaid or Best Man showed up 1.5 hours late to shoe shopping last night. But she showed up.
I forgot to mention that she got back together with the bf (semi-secretly) a few weeks ago and this is when she REALLY got worse.