Post # 1
I am planning a bachelorette party this fall and let all the bridesmaids and other girls know the dates and costs over 2 months ago. Now I just got word from 2 of the bridesmaids that they can’t come (only after I emailed them to get confirmations). Neither of them had mentioned the dates being a problem, or the costs, and didn’t even let me know why they can’t come. They both live in the area of the party, while I am travelling 2000 miles to be there. Am I wrong in thinking that part of a bridesmaid’s duties is to attend the bachelorette party, not to mention help plan and pay for it?
Post # 3
If you’re traveling all that way, you obviously want your closest girlfriends to take part. Give them a call. Go into it with an open mind and try to be flexible. Maybe they could have told you sooner that they can’t come, but it’s possible they didn’t know until closer to the date and didn’t want to decline prematurely. Just let them know how much you’d like them to be there, but don’t put any pressure on them. I’m sure they have legitimate reasons, and sometimes even the best of friends don’t know the whole story.
I’d steer clear of “bridesmaid’s duties”. No one, your attendants included, are beholden to take part in every wedding-related event. They’ve agreed to stand with you on your wedding day, but they may not be able to contribute in the way you’d like to the other things. Make your peace with that and enjoy your bachelorette with the others who ARE able to make it!
Post # 4
You’re planning your own bachelorette party & you told the girls the dates AND the cost to attend? If I were your bridesmaid I’d kind of be taken aback by this information.
They should be a part of the bachelorette party, but I believe they only have to pay if THEY were the ones who planned it! Your BM’s are not actually required to pay for any wedding related activity unless they are personally hosting the event.
I can understand your frustration and hurt by the girls declining when you’re traveling so far to be with them. Maybe just give them a call & ask if anything else (like the cost) is getting in the way of them being able to attend?
Best of luck!