(Closed) Flattered or Furious?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Furious, neutral, and neutral. Candy buffets are done all the time now and our wedding colors are very common, but I feel like our ceremony is going to be pretty unique and it’s the most "us" part of our wedding.

Post # 4
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

For the first one, I wouldn’t mind too much. A lot of ceremonies are pretty similar, especially from the same officiant.

The second one I’d be upset. Having the same color combination is a little too close for comfort. If she changed it a bit- tweaked shades, or added another contrast color- it might work out.

The third one I’d be fine with. A lot of people do a candy buffet. Make it different by picking out candies that you and your Fiance like!

Post # 5
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Well I think the fact that all of these scenarios are taking your ideas and using them before your wedding would be cause for furious IMO.  If you said they’re using my ideas, after my wedding, then I’m flattered, for the most part.  I’d be more flattered if they said they loved how I planned my wedding and asked me for ideas in planning theirs.

Post # 6
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I wouldn’t mind sharing an officiant- if I had decided to get married in my hometown church, I wouldn’t have had a choice but to have the same officiant as my sister.  That’s just how it works.  (And most Catholic church weddings are super similar anyway)

The colors would really bother me.  There are so many to choose from, why duplicate?

The candy buffet- depending on how it was done may not bother me.  If it was all the same jars, take home containers and every little detail the same- I would be annoyed.

Your wedding is a chance to express your creativity- I would hate to seem like a copy cat because someone used all my ideas 6 months prior to my wedding.  If it came down to it, I’d probably try to scrap as many of the copied ideas as possible.

Post # 7
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Umm, neither. I’d be happy to go last so that I could make sure mine was done the very best and see how things could be improved. Take advantage of their events being first (think trial runs) to see what things leave impressions on you and their guests and to see what snafoo’s you can prevent. It’s all a state of mind and what you make of it.

Post # 8
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

The only one that would really bother me would be the color thing. Pink and green have been my colors for YEARS, over a decade! I would be very VERY upset if anyone close took that from me. 

Post # 9
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Honestly, I don’t think I’d mind about any of them. Our colors are green, gold, and ivory…but there’s so many ways/shades/ideas of how to use them that I highly doubt it would even look similar. A candy buffet is a common idea, and again it can look different depending on how it’s done. And our officiant is just the parish priest, so I can’t keep him all to myself! Now, if it was the same friend for all 3 and she had everything the exact same down to the menu, types of candy, hymns, dress, veil etc….then I might start to get a bit freaked out!

Post # 10
Member
1428 posts
Bumble bee

I agree on the color thing, the other two wouldn’t bother me at all. The same color scheme would make me really flipping annoyed.

Post # 11
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I’m with the majority — having a color palatte lifted would bother me, but the others, not so much.  I could see being upset about the ceremony if you’ve spent a lot of time making yours really "you" and the other ceremony is an exact copy of yours, but if it’s just the same officiant I wouldn’t be offended.  And candy buffets are so trendy right now that unless the family friend uses the exact same jars and candies, I don’t think it’s fair to accuse anyone of "copying" the idea.

Post # 12
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I’m neutral on all of it… not flattered but not furious. I think that there is so much more that goes into a wedding like the entire vibe and experience that would totally be different. Even enough to feel like distinct ceremonies even… and a candy bar. I mean, a candy bar is analogous to a wedding cake right? Now if it was the EXACT same thing, I’d be a bit concerned I suppose. But for the most part, I’d just be brushing all of it off. Won’t be raining on my day!

Post # 13
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee

I guess I’m in the minority… but who cares?! As brides, we get a day… not a month, not 6 months, not the rights to certain colors or trends or vendors… but one day.

Post # 14
Member
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Hmm….if it were all the same person, I would be pretty mad! I’m sorry, I know the nice thing to say is that it won’t matter and your weddings will both be unique and we only get one day…but why would she even want the same colors as you? There’s a million different color combinations! I think what I would be really upset about would be the officiant, because our ceremony is pretty unique and I wrote it myself.

I will say you should let the candy bar, go, though.  There, maybe that makes me less of a bridezilla.

Post # 15
Member
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

  1. Flattered
  2. Furious
  3. Furious

Luckily, I’m one of only two friends getting married this year and my wedding is the first!  However, I unknowingly took a similar invitation design element (the recently popular dandelion) and I hope she wasn’t too upset!

Post # 16
Member
398 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

I don’t think I would care on any of them.  I have been to weddings that have had similar services, similar colors, but a huge difference in the weddings.  Different decor, different ambiance and just in general different party.

Weddings tend to reflect each couples personality and are more than just colors, officiants and food 🙂

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