(Closed) Flipside: How would you feel if your child wasn't invited to the wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 242
Hostess
3571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I wouldn’t be offended at all. Assuming it was actually a friend of mine, I’d probably be happy to spend some designated “adult” time with my friends. 

Now, if it was out of state or in a place where I didn’t have other family/friends not going to the wedding and I didn’t have a sitter I could trust, then I’d probably just skip it. Still wouldn’t be offended though. 

Post # 243
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I’m not having a no kids wedding, but I don’t think children misbehaving is the only reason people choose not to invite them. 

My fiance and I had a compromise – we only invited children that we are related to (however distantly). We haven’t invited children of friends because it would make our guest list exponentially larger, and so far, no issues. If anyone were to ask, I’d explain it that way.

Post # 244
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee

I have varying opinions on this. I think weddings are a celebration of family! This includes children. That being said, weddings have gotten completely out of control price wise. So I understand at $50 a plate why you have to pick and choose. I also think if you are inviting someone with small children that have to travel a distance, what do you expect them to do with their children? get a babysitter  that they don’t know? Or leave them at home and pay a sitter for a weekend? Wow! That could be expensive!  If they are spending money to travel, get hotels, etc. I do think its rude not to let them bring their family! At this point in your life…. Your wedding means everything to you…. But with friends and family…. Their kids mean everything to them. if you make the decision to exclude kids…be prepared for people to decline.  I don’t know! When did weddings stop being a celebration of love and families?  Probably when it got so expensive! 

Post # 245
Member
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I wouldn’t care. The reality is kids do misbehave (or act like kids) at weddings (and other events) and sadly there times where parents don’t regulate their behavior. I’ve been at weddings where just parents sit there while their kid acts a fool.

But I wouldn’t assume they want a child free affair soley because of misbehaving kids. There are also budget considerations, tone etc. So if they want an adult only affair that is their right. I’ll get a babysitter for the night. if not I’ll respectfully decline. No drama. 

Post # 246
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I wouldn’t be insulted at all. If the parent cant imagine not bringing their uninvited child to the wedding, then that’s their problem.

We are having our neices and nephew in the wedding. They will be picked up from the ceremony and the adults will attend the reception.

Post # 247
Member
2598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@hemoncdr:  I noticed you told this same story in another thread, leaving out the part about how you pressured other relatives into not attending your cousins wedding and made yourself out go be the victim. 

One wonders what the real story is here. 

At the end if the day, if someone issues you an invitation, you are free to accept or decline. That’s it. 

You are not entitled to be offended or act out because someone else sees weddings differently than you see them. You are not entitled to some petty, vindictive tantrum let alone try to ruin someone else’s wedding. 

Post # 248
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I am not a fan of children. I have loved and raised a daughter of my own.  When I host my events I choose to not have children.  My event = my choice.  Our Feb honneymoon is going to be at an adult only resort…I want to have nice nights out without hearing “mommy.”  Some people just want to be around adults.  Not everyone is going to like or want to share their night out with your child- well behaved or not.  

Post # 251
Member
432 posts
Helper bee

@ReeRee06:  

 

It is indeed an American thing. Every single wedding in the UK and continental Europe that I’ve ever attended, including my own, which was very formal, had children involved. There were never any problems. However, I could not help but notice that European children generally seem to be better behaved, so perhaps that makes a difference. Our own daughter has always been included in most of our social activities, including theatre/ballet/opera performances, formal dinners, family birthdays, anniversaries, and of course weddings.

Post # 252
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I don’t really understand the uproar over why people would be upset about not bringing their kids. There are plenty of events that children do not attend (high school reunions, charity galas, work parties, etc) Why would a formal wedding be any different? We are not inviting children to our wedding, however, we are accommodating those that need to travel with their parents from out of town. We are hosting what we are calling a children’s reception in a separate room with pizza, treats, games, movies and crafts and it will be supervised by two licensed child care professionals. My Fiance and I will visit the children’s reception and thank them for coming as well. I think it is a great solution to accommodate everyone. 

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