Post # 1
Hi fellow bee’s
I am new here but I have been reading for months.
i was talking with my gf yesterday. she has been married 3 years, i was one of her BMs.
Yesterday she was telling me that she went to a party with her husband and that they had quite a few drinks, as did everyone and one of his female friends (that he hasn’t seen much of since they were married and she doesn’t really know her) asked him to dance.
she was fine with that, but the girl was a little drunk to and when she was dancing was being provocative.
My friend said at first she didn’t care, it was not much but her husband started to be the same and she was shocked and hurt.
She said to me that she never really went to a party with him (they have a baby) and never saw him drunk. She said he is never flirtatious. She made the point to me, that she had no idea he would behave like that and yes he was drunk but not enough to not behave like that.
I have never been to a party with my Fiance although he has partied plenty before but we have only been to get togethers not really a party. She said that after that, she thinks it is good to see what they are like in all situations before being married.
she spoke to a friend of her husbands at the party and he said, ‘they are always like that’. she said she had no idea and she realized that she didn’t know him as well as she thought.
He is quite a quiet guy, friendly but I wouldn’t have thought he would be like that either.
made me think, i have never seen my Fiance drunk/partying so don’t really know what he’s be like….. i saw her point because she felt that she could guarantee her husband would not have been as he was.
i thought it was an interesting point and just made me think.
Post # 3
Drinking always changes a person. My husband and I don’t drink so that’s not an issue with us but I agree that it’s good to see your SO in all situations if possible. Not always an option though.
Post # 4
I can really see how that would upset her, especially if this is a regular behavior when he gets drunk.
I know how my fiance is when he’s drunk. He’s not sexual, and thankfully he doesn’t dance at all so I don’t have to worry about what happened to your friend, but he’s crazy. He talks to anyone and everyone about everything but when a girl goes too far he stops it.
If he drinks I do think it’s important to know that side of him too before you get married.
Post # 5
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
I agree you should know pretty much everything there is to know about your SO before you get married. Not all drunk guys flirt. My fiance goes through stages. At first, he’s really talkative. Then he’s crazy/obnoxious. Then he just wants to be left alone and will wander away from the party to sleep under a bush. LOL!
Post # 6
That is not cool. I guess I am more of an aggressive person, but I would have definitely said something to his “friend” and most certainly to him. If she were just some random woman, then she’s a non-factor, but since she is his “friend”, someone that we may have to be around in the future, she would have been made aware of my feelings. That is humiliating, drunk or not. As the saying goes, “a drunk man’s tongue is a sober man’s mind” or in this case “actions”. My Fiance knows better than to dance with another woman, especially when she’s dancing like a skeezer. Not okay.
Post # 7
@LBeeLove: I completely agree.
Of course my friend had 9 months of being pregnant and then at home with the baby for over a year, so she wasn’t getting out.
I didn’t say to her how angry I felt with him but seeing as it was the first time he had taken her out for so long, he should have been making her feel sexy and desirable NOT acting like some other woman was, when my friend had to sit there watching it.
And everyone else, I dare say. so I felt so sorry for her, her self esteem just plumetted.
Of course I don’t think it was excusable behavior at all, and I REALLY didn’t expect it of this guy !