(Closed) Flower etiquette

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t think it’s rude or insulting to not give your mother flowers because she won’t even be there. Are you feeling like people will think you’re insulting her or are you feeling guilty?

Post # 5
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t think there is anything wrong with it. I would just give them the flowers at a private moment.

 As for your mom, I would send her a flower arrangement with a card on your wedding day telling her that you love her and thanking her for respecting your wishes that she not attend. Or, save your wedding bouquet for her and give it to her after the wedding.

Post # 6
Member
46408 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It is never wrong to be appreciative of the support that others have provided in our life.

Those of your guests who are close enough to be aware of the role these women have played in your life, will recognize the gesture as appropriate.

Guests who are not familiar with the situation will just assume they are important women in your life.

Post # 8
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Ok, I understand. I believe unless people know for a fact you didnt invite your mother you shouldn’t feel like they think you’re insulting her. Or, you could have a nosegay on your guest book table with a note saying “Unfortunately my mother _____ wasn’t able make it here on our special day to celebrate with us and sends her love. Mr. UbiCaritas and I know her heart is here and wanted to honor her”. Without making it sound like your mother is deceased maybe this would work. It lets people know you arn’t ignoring her but that her simply couldn’t make it.

Post # 11
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

No worries, I’m glad I could give you the giggles. If you want I could give more laughable suggestions…:)

When I read your post I knew your relationship with your mother wasn’t a close one. I felt like you were more concerned with what your guests thought and not what she thought. I know your hand would have a difficult time writing the note but if you feel like it would be hypocrital then I wouldn’t even worry about what other people thought. Hey, they might not notice and think it’s sweet of you to honor these special ladies.

 

Post # 12
Member
349 posts
Helper bee

I’m a MOB and I think your idea to honor your three mentors is absolutely lovely! You might consider corsages, rather than nosegays though – so much easier to keep up with throughout the day, and not something extra to hold while eating, dancing, etc.  Just a suggestion – I know they will LOVE the gesture no matter which style of flowers you choose.  Best wishes for a wonderful, meaningful day surrounded by those who love you!

Post # 14
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I know this is getting off topic but…

You could give her the ” Vicodin cocktail” and just prop her up in the corner and have cards made like subtitles so people could come by, visit and make up their own conversation with her;

All joking aside I’m sorry you even have to deal with this but am glad you can find humor in it. If you’re not telling her she’s not invited to the wedding is she the type to try and crash the wedding?

Post # 16
Member
5762 posts
Bee Keeper

If I were in your shoes and there is a chance your Mother will be seeing your wedding photos, I’d skip the florals for your important women, and get them a gift that you give them in private to thank them for being there for you. They’ll know, and you’ll know, but the whole world won’t have a reason to question it or make you feel bad, that day or even after the fact.

If you do decide on any kind of flower, I’d skip the nosegays too. I think they look odd to see the older women with them, and they only end up sitting on the table all night.

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