- 6 years ago
- Wedding: December 2012
Bees, I’d really love your input. 🙂
My fiance has an absolutely wonderful family. I love his mother. I’ve met one of his grandmothers, and she’s a sweetheart. From what he tells me, the other one is like that, too, and I can’t wait to meet her, though I won’t until the big day.
My family…well, the best I can say is that they prepared me to appreciate my fiance’s family even more than I ordinarily would. My grandmothers are both deceased, and my parents are extremely dysfunctional. My mother is a (very) active alcoholic, and after a lot of thought we’ve decided not to invite her to the wedding. We don’t want to have to deal with the drama she inevitably stirs up, and we really don’t want to have to either make someone responsible for ensuring she doesn’t drink and drive or face any responsibility for what she might do if she gets behind the wheel drunk. I’m waiting until a little closer to the wedding to tell her this, and I’ll do so gently and kindly, but she’s not going to be happy about it.
This isn’t a pity-party post; quite the opposite! While my mother has never been one in any non-biological sense of the word, I have been very blessed in that I have several women who have been like mothers to me. They’ve listened to me, hugged me, talked to me, given me a sound dose of common sense when I needed it, helped me in thousands of ways to become the woman I am now, and, most importantly, loved me.
I’m DIYing my flowers, and have decided to give the mothers nosegays rather than corsages. However, in addition to my fiance’s mother and grandmothers, I’m thinking about giving nosegays to these three women, too. They won’t be in the wedding party or anything like that, but I’d really like to do this to show a little bit of the gratitude and love I feel for them.
Would this be really awkward? Would it be insulting to my own mother, who won’t be there? I think they’d love the thought and the flowers, but I don’t want to be overtly rude to my own mother, however much I despise her actions, and I don’t want to cause general awkwardness, either, since however close I am to these three, none of them are–speaking only from a technical standpoint–my “real” mother.