(Closed) Flower girl does not want to wear the tutu I made for our wedding.

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

It’s always a good idea to step away from the idea of “MY” wedding and frame it as “our wedding.” This is your FI’s family, I would follow his lead on the best way to handle this. Maybe it’s worth the fight to get the kid to wear the tutu – and maybe it’s not. Strangers on the internet can’t really make that call for you guys.

Post # 4
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Honestly, I understand being upset about the work you put in, but they’re little girls. They would look cute in a burlap sack, and it’s really not a big deal.  I told SIL to just get our flower girl a white dress- I had no idea what she would look like until the day of the wedding, and guess what? She looked like a flower girl.  Totally freakin’ adorable.  Of course. 

Let your SIL buy the dresses (it’s really nice of her to offer), and stop stressing. If this is the worst thing that happens around your wedding, count yourself incredibly lucky.

Post # 5
Member
6215 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

It’s better to have a flower girl happy in a normal dress than throwing a tantrum in a tutu! It’s not that big a deal, hopefully you guys can find a dresses that still fit your theme.

Post # 6
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’d be super annoyed, too.  Just wear the damn tutu, little girl!  

Post # 7
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Hm, well, on one hand, I would be annoyed. On the other hand, I would prefer to avoid tantruming on my wedding day, so I’d probably just let mom buy the dresses. It sounds like she’s just trying to make your day stress free, and she did the most you can expect from her by offering to buy both of the new dresses. How old is the girl? If you can’t trust the mom to diffuse the tantrums on the day of, you definitely need to go with another dress. I’m sure having a calm wedding is more important than having everyone in certain outfits. 

Post # 8
Member
3947 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

How old are these little girls?  Are we sure they’re crying because they’re in a “outfit they don’t like”?  And that they wouldn’t be crying in anything they were put in?

Sounds like your FI’s sister just doesn’t like the idea so she’s making up excuses.  They’re little kids – one minute the hate something and 5 minutes of wearing something they forget they have it on (as long as it isn’t extremely uncomfortable for them). 

Post # 9
Member
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I think I opened a can or worms by making tutus as well! Although my problem is the other way around. I made one tutu (out of 3) and it took me hooouuuurrs and it just looked awful so I went out and bought the three flowergirls some dresses. So now one of the flowergirls is shitty and so is her Mum (my sister)! 

But yes, I do think it’s best to avoid flowergirl tantrums. One of my wedding day fears is that one of the girls will start crying through the ceremony or something.

Post # 11
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@westsidestory223:  Since you’re doing a rustic wedding, could one girl wear the tutu, and the other girl wear a non-tutu dress that coordinates? Then, at least you could almost get your vision? 

Post # 12
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Kids can be finnicky (sp?). I would let the mom buy another dress for her but keep the tutu as well. Maybe on the wedding day your niece will put it on without an issue. Or try to have her put it on again in a week or so. Can you go visit her and try to get it on her? If you really want it for your wedding vision I am not above some negotiating. Is there a toy she wants? Can she wear the tutu down the aisle and for pictures, then change?

Post # 13
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee

This may sound terrible, but she’s 6, can’t you just try to “bribe” her?

Post # 14
Member
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I don’t really have any good advice for you, but boy do I feel sorry for those girls parents! Letting a six year old run the show like that must make for a pretty miserable existence! I was a  flower girl in a lot of weddings, and I never liked my dress, hated having my hair curledto but I never refused to wear something!! I’m sorry, but do the opinions of little ones really hold that much weight? They should wear the darn tutus. let them pick out a pretty bracelet or hair accessory, and tell them know that the tutus are mandatory.

Post # 15
Member
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

This sucks, but that’s the way it works with kids….you are subjected to the whimmiest of whims and if they don’t like something, well…that is that.  But on the other side, if this was a two year old, I wouldn’t push it, but a five year old…?  Well, sounds like she might be the teensiest bit over indulged, because my parents would have accepted no such excuse….if it were me, I would frame it like this, if you wanna be a fireman, you wear a uniform, same with a cop. A doctor or even a princess….if she wants to be in the wedding as a flower girl, she needs to suit up, otherwise she is more than welcome to wear whatever she likes and sit with the guests.  If her mother cries foul just let her know you think it’s ridiculous that this tantrum got as much validation as it did and in their home, the tail is waggin the dog.

Post # 16
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’d love to see a picture of the tutus!!

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