(Closed) Flower girl etiquette?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
7440 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Usually the mother pays for the flowergirl dress, the bride for the basket. That is small beans considering the rest of the expenses. 

Post # 3
367 posts
Helper bee

I’d be ticked off, too, but honestly at this point you’ve got to let it all go.  You can’t change any of what happened and it’ll just eat you up.

Post # 4
284 posts
Helper bee

I paid for the flowergirl dress and I didn’t have a Destination Wedding, some people are just stingy and you just need to accept it and move on.

Post # 5
2402 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

The basket? seriously?

I’d be ticked as well, but seeing as it’s passed, I don’t think there is anything that you can do or say.

It is super cheap of them. Hell, I’m on a budget, but we are making sure we pay for our flower girls and ring bearers outifts so we don’t break the bank for their parents (who are all in the wedding party as well).

Post # 7
303 posts
Helper bee

You definitely shouldn’t have had to pay for the basket in my opinion.  I think it is acceptable that you paid for the outfit, unless they picked some absurdly expensive flower girl dress (like $200 for a child’s outfit to be worn once, ridiculous!).  We’re paying for our goddaughter’s flower girl outfit since both of her parents are in the wedding party and we didn’t want to burden them further.  

Post # 8
6267 posts
Bee Keeper

Have you already paid?  if so, I’m not sure the point of the question.  If not, then pay for the dress and nothing else.  I’m starting to wonder just how many more things you’re going to come up with about this one wedding where you never put your foot down.  

Post # 10
877 posts
Busy bee

Typically the mother pays for the outfit, but I do find it odd that you paid for the basket. Not sure why you’re worrying about what’s said and done though, so I would say you’re not justified. just let it go, you’ll be happier all around. 

Post # 11
43 posts

View original reply
bridesmaidwithquestions:  I really don’t know why you’re harping on this wedding so much. It was too expensive, you felt deceived, you are feeling distant towards the bride.

I’m sorry- it sounds like it sucked a lot for you. Coming here to get reassurance that it was a bad time will not help you move past the bad experience you had. I recommend you stop thinking about it and move on with your life.

Also, posting here means you open yourself to all different opinions. Some might differ from your own, that doesn’t make them less relevant. Telling people to shut up is rude. 

Post # 12
2477 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

I bought my FG’s dress (which cost me all of $17 – why spend a fortune on something she’ll probably spill her dinner on and never wear again – she is only two!) and the basket.  I also bought shirts and ties for my three pageboys and asked their parents just to put them in dark trousers and shoes which was perfect.  My theory was that their parents were shelling out enough in flights and hotels (not a Destination Wedding as such but not in my home town where they live) that I didn’t want to add any extra expense.

Post # 13
1767 posts
Buzzing bee


Post # 14
880 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
bridesmaidwithquestions:  just out of curiosity, what do you plan to do with this information? The event already happened. You’ve already spent the money. Are you going to ask her for a refund because the Bees told you that you shouldn’t have paid for it? 

I get that the wedding was expensive. But you could have said no at any point. Sitting around and dwelling on what could have been doesn’t sound very healthy. 

With all of your posts complaining about this wedding, I’m beginning to wonder if your sister in law really was the full problem. My suggestion is to move on and focus on growing a relationship with your child’s god parents and your brother and his new wife. 

Post # 15
1346 posts
Bumble bee

My cousin was the flower girl for our wedding, her mom purchased her dress.  We offered but they took initiative and purchased a dress that my cousin picked out.  Our ring bearer wore black pants and white button up that he owned and we provided a child sized tie.

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