(Closed) Flower girl fight

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
1112 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
cjoylane:  You get a say in who your flower girls are. It’s not clear, but it sounds like your Sister-in-Law is telling you who your flower girls are. If that is the case, and you don’t want them to be, then tell her no.

If you do want them involved, I wouldn’t have them escorted down to the nursery the moment the walk down the aisle. Your wedding isn’t until next year, so that is plenty of time to start working with them. You can start small by explaining what a wedding is, then what their role is, and what is expected of them (throw flowers, walk down the aisle before the bride, smile for the camera, be quiet during the ceremony, etc.) Little girls get really excited when they are asked to be flower girls, but many have never been to a wedding and don’t understand what it is or why it is important. 

After the ceremony, and with the Mother’s approval, they can go to a babysitter so the parents can let loose kid-free. They will probably welcome that – especially if you foot the babysitter bill!

Post # 3
Member
4242 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Why have 3?  I say only have 1…you can’t please everyone.  Otherwise, have someone specifically to watch them during the ceremony and who can take them outside if they become disruptive.  My friend’s mom actually ended up missing part of my friend’s ceremony because she had to escort the flower girl out for about 20 minutes.  Be sure you have someone…not your moms or dads or bridesmaids or groomsmen obviously…specifically who can watch a flower girl or two.

Post # 4
Member
2256 posts
Buzzing bee

You can’t have them participate in the ceremony only to have them whisked off to the nursery. You also can’t boot this one child because she’s whiny. You have to do an all or nothing deal– especially since you’ve already asked and she’s officially one of the three.

You’ll probably have to say “I’ve thought about it and I don’t think we’re going to have flower girls at all” and then have the nursery care be obligatory.

Post # 5
Member
4242 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Also my parents ended up having two flower girls simply because they both had goddaughters the exact same age.  Both of my parents have huge families (think 10 siblings and 5 siblings respectively) so they couldn’t have every niece or nephew be flower girl/ringbearer.  It was special for my parents and for their goddaughters to be a part of the day and no one was offended just because their kid wasn’t involved.  If you don’t want this girl to be a flower girl she doesn’t have to be.  If his sister has a beef about it, that’s her problem — it’s NOT her wedding it is YOURS.

Post # 6
Member
2171 posts
Buzzing bee

As long as the parents are ok with the babysitter you have lined up, I don’t see a problem with that. Perhaps word it as you want the flower girls to have fun and not be bored sitting through a ceremony. Maybe have some fun activities planned for the babysitter to do with them. Depending on what they like, you can make custome coloring books about the wedding, a photo scavenger hunt-a list of things they need to take pics of, provide disposable cameras for each one, and it could be things they can find whereever they are going to be watched, board games/card games that are age appropriate. This way they don’t get dirty and still look good for pics if they need to after the ceremony. Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
2171 posts
Buzzing bee

I mean all 3 girls get escorted to the babysitter. Apparently, my opinion is in the minority but its your wedding so do what feels best for you! Good luck!

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