Post # 1
So I am having an extremely hard time making a decision about the flower girl / ring bearer. I have 3 nephews and 1 niece and Fiance has 1 newphews and 1 niece. I don’t know how to go about picking who should be in the wedding. We are having absolutly no children at our wedding (except if they are standing up of course). Any advice about how to choose would be greatly appreciated because I am totally lost right now!
Thanks in advance! 🙂
Post # 3
My Fiance has three neices and two nephews… in order to prevent favoring one over the other and give them a chance to all be involved we asked the older two nieces to be Jr BM’s the younger as a flower girl and we are using the two boys as ushers. I would have a hard time picking in your case. Can you make an exception to the no kids thing for your neices and nephews?
Post # 4
How old are the boys and girls?
You could always have 2 flower girls come down together.
Then you could have the 2 older boys be ushers and the two younger ones come down together with the rings.
Post # 5
All of the children are under the age of 7 so the ushers thing is out of the question. I figured I would def have the 2 girls be flower girls together. I can’t have one get all dresses up and not the other.
Secondly, I have eliminated one of the boys because our church requires you to be at least 4 years old to be involved in the ceremony and he is on going to be 2 1/2.
That just leave the 4 other boys. I was thinking maybe I could just have one be the ring bearer and the other 3 pass our programs or something along those lines? But being that they are all so young Idk if the would actually stand there and pass them out or be running around like hyper little boys! lol!
Post # 6
@auggiefrog: We can’t really make an exception about the no kids rule. It would cause drama with a couple of his aunts because they would want to bring their kids. And the hall doesn’t give discounts for children’s plates which makes it super expensive. I plan on allowing our nieces and nephews to come to the ceremony and reception but they will have to be picked up by 9 pm. I will let my sisters / sister in law decide if they want to bring them to the reception or not. I just don’t like the idea of children running around on the dance floor and stuff when people are drinking and there is an open bar.
Post # 7
I think it would be acceptable for you to choose the most age-appropriate children from among siblings and/or cousins to be the flower girl and the ring bearer (or have multiple kids involved as a pp suggested.) However, I would strongly advise against selecting only one child from a particular family to be in your wedding and to attend with his or her parents while NOT inviting that child’s sibling(s) to attend the wedding at all. That would be wrong.
ETA: I see that you provided additional info while I was crafting and editing my comment, so it seems as if the concern I mentioned is not actually an issue. I think your ideas for how to incorporate all of the children are good ones.
Post # 8
This is a hard one. We might just skip having flower girls and ring bearers all together. Maybe this would work for you. I have seen pictures of weddings with numerous flower girls, etc. that still look really cute. You could make up an age rule too, to avoid hurt feelings.
If we decided on having children play a role in the ceremony, I honestly think we’d pick them based on how outgoing they are. We have a large wedding, and our most obvious ones to pick, that we see the most, are so shy that them walking down the aisle probably isn’t even a realistic option.
Post # 9
@cglaubitz: I have tossed around the idea of not have any at all, but I am so close to my sisters and their children that I just can’t get past the idea of not having them at / in my wedding. I love them to death. I just wish Fiance would just let me have my niece and nephews and not his! lol totally kidding ;)! I am not that rude!
I think it may work best if I just have one child from each family. My one sister has a son and a daughter (I would let her daughter be a flower girl), my other sisters has two sons (I would have her son be the ring bearer), my Future Sister-In-Law has a son and a daughter (I would let her daughter be a flower girl), my Future Brother-In-Law has a son, but he will only be 2 1/2 so the church does not allow him to be in the wedding. That way I will have a part of each family and it won’t be as much of a financial burden on each family because they will only have to dress up one child. The other 3 boys can just wear normal dress clothes and pass out the programs if they feel like cooperating that day.
Do you guys see any problems with that? Or have any better ideas?