(Closed) Flower Girl, To Have or Not To Have?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
2580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@FourthFireworks: I had a similar situation, though in our case Future Mother-In-Law just asked one of her friend’s granddaughters to be our flower girl. She didn’t even ask me about it! I was kind of annoyed at first (especially because I’ve never even met this child), but I decided to just pick my battles–in the grand scheme of things, it’s not a huge deal. If it’s going to cause a lot of tension and it doesn’t really bother you, there’s not a lot of harm in including the Flower Girl. That said, I think you can draw the line and say you do not want to add anyone else to the wedding party.

Post # 5
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@FourthFireworks: I would say pick your battles where you can and this one sounds like a toss up. I would say if you dont want a big issue with his family then go for it


Post # 6
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

So this might make me sound like a total bitch, but I say it is YOUR wedding, so who cares if you upset some distant cousin you aren’t even close to!  If you don’t want kids, don’t have kids.  Everyone will get over it by the time the wedding rolls around!

Is there any chance that your Future Mother-In-Law is just assuming the cousins will be upset?  I was really worried at first that my sister and brother would be upset that my nephews aren’t invited to the wedding. I love them to death but I think it wouldn’t be fair if I invited them and no one elses kids.  Turns out, they both were relieved and said they would have much more fun without their kids!  They were actually happy to have the night off.  Maybe this is the case with the cousins, too?

Post # 9
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I say you shouldn’t feel obligated to include the cousin as a flower girl.  If they included your Fiance and his family in their weddings, it should be because they wanted them to be a part of the day, not because they were expecting him to return the favor.  You should be able to get by with saying you’re not inviting young children- there’s a big difference between a 5 yr old and an 11 yr old.

Post # 10
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Nothing bitchy about it–it IS your wedding, being hosted by your parents. You do not need to include a Flower Girl if you don’t want to. And you know those people will want to bring their triplets, which is another can of worms. Honestly, this couple will probably be relieved not to come and/or bring their children. If Fiance can’t call them himself, they must not be close enough to worry about potentially offending.

Post # 11
7387 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Why do people feel so damn entitled when it comes to other peoples weddings? I will never understand it… Why is a given that your child should be included in wedding of relative you barely know? Why is this acceptable. This boggles my mind. Clearly i’m wrong that a wedding is about the couple, but apparently not, its about everyone elses kids…whatever.

OP I think you know where I stand in this side of the issue.

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