(Closed) Flower Girls… or lack thereof

posted 11 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
2640 posts
Sugar bee

If you don’t have one, you don’t have one. There’s really not much you can do about it. I feel for you, becuase it seems like you’d like to have one. I kind of know what you’re going through. I’m surprised you haven’t been to a wedding without one. I think most of the weddings I’ve been to, have lacked the child attendants.

I suppose if it’s that important to you, you could ask someone not terribly close to you. But I would caution that even with a little girl in your wedding, it might not turn out as perfect as you described. Will she get nervous and refuse to walk down the aisle? Will she be a brat? Will she even smile under those curls? Will she have curls? Will the mom have issues with the drss you pick? Will she be willing to pay for a dress for her little girl to be in a wedding that is a bit of a “relational” stretch.

I’m sure either way, your wedding will be a success.

Post # 4
618 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

We’re not having any flower girls or ring bearers.  Mainly because we’re doing a destination wedding and there just won’t be any kids around.  But even if they were available, I don’t think I want the hassle of the kids in the ceremony, particularly since we’re having an "adult" reception.  As for the rings, we’re just going to give them to the best man and pray he makes it to the alter with them! 

Post # 5
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I think you can make your bridal party whatever you’d like! We’re having two ring bearers and no flower girls because we can’t choose between FI’s two nephews. We do have a young girl in the family who could be our flower girl (she’s two), but she was a flower girl for my cousin’s wedding and, as a really shy child, was absolutely terrified the entire time. I won’t put her through that again just so I can have a cute little girl in a dress. I’m not big on the idea of asking your cousin’s friend’s neighbor’s little girl to be in the wedding party because to me, the wedding party is supposed to be made up of people who matter to you, not people who fit the role. You don’t pick your BMs because they’ll look cute with curls and smile nice for the camera, so why pick a flower girl for that reason, KWIM? I think if you don’t have a little girl who’s important to either one of you, don’t worry about having a flower girl.

Post # 6
3331 posts
Sugar bee

Honestly, I don’t think there’s any hard and fast rule that you have to have certain wedding party members.  We’re not having any child attendants, because I thought that would be inconsistent with our guest list (we’re not inviting anyone under 16).  Even though we do love kids, we didn’t think it would make sense, seeing as we only had adults at the wedding.  Also, we don’t really know any children who would be the right ages, so it would have been an ordeal to try to find someone.  To me, it’s more important to have the truly special people in my life up there with me, rather than having what people expect in a wedding party. 

Post # 7
5 posts
  • Wedding: July 2009

My sister’s going to be my flower girl/junior bridesmaid/ring bearer.  She’s 25 and has Down’s Syndrome, and she has always wanted to be a flower girl.  She has been excitedly telling everyone that she’s going to be a "flower girl slash junior bridesmaid" [complete with hand motion for the slash]. ;D

 I agree that it’s more important to have the people who are special to you be in the wedding party than to have all the traditional roles filled.

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