Post # 1
OKay so I come from a HUGE family with even MORE extended family. I’m kind of like the first daughter that is getting married so EVERYONE is very excited for my parents and I! I love the support and excitement surrounding my day BUTTTTTT (and that is a huge butt) it comes with alot of people that feel like they HAVE to be a part of my wedding day.
This is showing through in the flower girl selection….I have so many little cousins, and Fiance has 2 young neices and my Mom keeps saying “oh it doesnt cost anything to let them dress up and walk down the aisle” she wants me to have 6-8 flower girls…ranging from ages 10-3 years old, Honestly I have NO idea how that will look or if it even makes sense? I honestly just want one little bride, and two flower girls. I just really do NOT want a bunch of kids running around and being a distraction on the wedding day, I absolutely LOVEEE kids but alot of parents can NOT control their kids and if I see one kid running down the aisle while I’m exchanging my vows I will most definitely FLIP out. So I would like to avoid that by keeping the bridal party kids to a minimum.
But her theory is she doesnt want to hurt peoples feelings and then have people wishing me bad luck on my wedding day and I can understand that but I feel like that is the LEAST of my worries. I beleive if you wish people bad luck then it will just go back to you in ten fold.
Sooooo on that note has anyone else had this many flower girls? If so did they have different roles? How did you keep them quiet and still? Should I put my foot down and say no or just let them all be a part of the bridal party?
Post # 3
So you have FI’s nieces in the wedding and that is it. Exlpain to your mother that this way none of the cousins can get upset since none of them were chosen. If it is his nieces then it might look like you are trying to appease his family which will score you brownie points.
Post # 4
In the end of the day you need to do what YOU want. Not your mom. Im sorry but if someone wishes you bad luck on your wedding day because they are selfish enough to think their child should be in your wedding party that isn’t someone Im going to go out of my way to accommodate. i think having the nieces in the wedding is good and like the previous poster said to tell your mom that is what you are doing. Im sorry you are going through this and I hope you can find a solution you can be at peace with.
Post # 5
@StormyRose: Thanks for that! I’ve never even thought about that! I have a little cousin that has my last name and I’m really close to her so maybe I can just make it the 2 of them as flower girls and FI’s 2 yr old neice as my little bride
@nicolebug: Thanks so much for the kind words. Yeah you are very right about the bad luck thing! NEver thought about it that way! I am suchhh a people pleaser, and I get it FROM my Mom so I’m trying to please her while she is trying to please others…it kinda sucks.
Post # 6
I think you need to put your foot down with your mom now! This probably won’t be the last of the issues!
If I were you – neices and nephews come before cousins. So have your FIs neices as flower girls and leave it at that. Then you don’t even have to choose between your cousins!
Post # 7
What if you gave the older girls a different “job” I have twin 13 yr old cousins and they are going to be hostess/ushers for our wedding. They will get to participate in everything (except bacholarette party) and they will have their own dresses and flowers, but they wont be actually in the wedding party.
Post # 8
I was just going to say that your Mom sounds like a people pleaser, but it’s been said.
You do not have to have every little girl in your near and distant family in your wedding.
Unless you are having a grand wedding a la Kate and William, I think 6-8 flower girls would look a little ridiculous.
Post # 9
I have seen it done. The girls were all dressed as fairies and they tossed petals with abandon. I think that wedding had 7 FlowerGirls. The dfference is that they got to the end of the aisle and exited stage left. They were taken to the church basement to play till it was time for pictures then sent home.No muss no fuss, just sugar and spice and everything nice. They also had 5 ringbearers as elves.They exited stage right. If this gets pushed on you I recommend this plan and an amazing babysitter.
Post # 10
@HisWifey2012: 6-8 is alot for me but it is your wedding so you should be able to do what you would like
Post # 11
My aunt had like 6 little flowergirls at her wedding last year. It was a small wedding, so it was a bit much to me to have all those folks standing up in front of the room. If they walk down together and not individually then I don’t think it’s a big deal.
Post # 12
6-8 is alot…i voted trying talking her down to 4. i have a HUGE family and this is the first wedding in out family also and we have alot of little princess’ running around. we are going with 3 flowergirls….
at the end of the day do what you want…its your day!
Post # 13
@secondchances: OHhhh I LOVE this idea!! Just have them walk down and right out? Hmmph I’ll definitely consider that!
Post # 14
Thanks for all the comments ladies! I truly appreciate the feedback!
Post # 15
I’d think the neices trump the cousins, so that’s what I’d do. I can’t even imagine trying to get the opinions of all the Mothers of all those little girls when picking their dresses! They will never agree. Make it easy on yourself.
Post # 16
I would let them all be flower girls. Little girls love that sort of thing so it’s not just your mom or their parents that will be hurt. I think the idea of them walking in and then downstairs is great. Alternatively, sit their parents in the second or third row and have them just sit with thier parents through the ceremony. I still remember not being a flower girl in my aunt’s adult only wedding and was so upset as a 6 year old. Also, if your BMs are sitting during the ceremony you could pair the older FGs with a Bridesmaid or Best Man and they will most likely be on thier best behavior as they are beign trusted to sit with the big girls. I was in a wedding where I was in charge of the 11 y.o. Jr. Bridesmaid or Best Man and she was trying so hard to please the bride (her half sister) who trusted her to be a Jr. Bridesmaid or Best Man instead of a Flower Girl and let her sit with the BMs.