Post # 1
I have a bit of a dilemma. My flower girl will be 10 years old almost 11 for the wedding. I know most girls become a Jr. bridesmaid but I don’t have any other family/friends with younger daughters! (What can I say, everyone has boys!) Should I keep the flower girl tradition? Or should I scrap it?
If I didn’t have a flower girl I wouldn’t have a ring bearer (or in this case ring bearers) either because I don’t want my niece to feel excluded. So do I have:
A flower girl, flower girl escort (boy), and two ring bearers?
Give the rings to the best man and skip the whole parade of little kids?
Post # 3
This is a decision I think only you can make. Are you against the idea of making the girl a jr. bridesmaid? I had a 10 year old at a jr. bridesmaid in my wedding and it worked out great. I did not have a flower girl or a ring bearer either. I guess my suggestion would be to either skip the kids all together or make the girl a jr. bridesmaid and just have a ring bearer. Good luck.
Post # 4
I am thinking of having my cousin’s girl who will be 7 at the time of my wedding possibly escort my other cousin’s little girl (who will be just over 2) down the aisle. Going to give the rings to a groosman, though.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2008 - St. Catherine of Genoa, Jin Asian Cuisine Restaurant
Whether you have kids in the wedding party or not, give the rings to the best man! 🙂
Personally, I just don’t trust little kids with something so expensive! Anyway, it’s up to you. I had a ginormous parade of little kids in our wedding– the opposite problem from you though… everyone in our family has little girls! I ended up with 6 flower girls and 1 ring boy. You can do it however you want. Personal opinion, I love little kids in weddings… they are so darn cute (even the ones that act up!).
Post # 6
I love little kids in wedding, but at 11 some girls are already starting to look like teenagers and that just looks odd to be for a flower girl. Really, though, it’s just a matter of your personal preference. And, have you asked her if she would want to be a flower girl or if she would feel silly being one? Maybe she wouldn’t want to do it, but you could still have your ring bearers without hurting her feelings.
Post # 7
My fi and I are very close to his neices/newphew and sister/Bro-in-law. We wanted to have all of them in the wedding. His nieces are going to be 8 (almost 9) and 3. I know the older one is a bit old to be a flower girl, but we don’t care. The boy will be 6 which may also be a bit old for ring bearer (not sure? but again don’t really care!) They are excited and they will be so cute. I didn’t want any Jr. Bridesmaids because it would only be the oldest (like your position).
I think you should make whatever decision feels best for you. If we weren’t so close to his nieces/nephew, we probably wouldn’t have had any of them in it. We also recently went to a wedding where the bride’s friend had just had a baby girl and SHE was the flower girl! Someone strolled her down the aisle in a carriage. Pretty sure she only did that because she was so close to her friend. I don’t think you should worry about "rules" in cases like this- just include those that you feel so close to you can’t imagine not including them, or don’t! Good luck!
Post # 8
You gotta make her the one and only junior bridesmaid! She will love it! Put her in the same colored dress as the bridesmaids and she will love you forever. My best firend’s 11 year old daughter will be my only junior bridesmaid, and we got her a bridesmaid dress that will be altered to suit her. The 3 flower girls, her little sisters, will be wearing the same color and fabric but will look like traditional flower girls. There’s a place for everyone! My best friend’s 1-year old will be the bell ringer, to announce I have arrived, and I’m sure EVERYONE will be awwing when they see him in whatever cute ensemble his mother chooses for him (tuxedo with bow-tie!).
Check out Mindy Weiss’ wedding book for ideas on how to include everyone in the "right" way.
Post # 9
Maybe I could have her be a Jr. bridesmaid and have my nephew be a…Jr. groomsman? I should have mentioned that her escort is my 10 yr old step-nephew (my SIL’s son from previous marriage). I don’t want to leave him out either just because he’s not a blood relative. Do they have Jr. groomsmen?
Post # 10
Our older niece and nephew (9 and 8) are still going to be flower girl and ring-bearer. My niece is a little scrap of a girl, so no need to rush her into Jr. Bridesmaiding or anything. They will be the escorts for the littler kids– niece 4 year old and nephew 4 year old who will be a second flower girl and ring-bearer.
You know your family best, and what this particular 10 yr old would like best… or even better, maybe you can ask her which she would prefer!
Post # 11
I would make her a junior bridesmaid, who says she has to walk down the aisle with anybody? When the bridal party dances, ask a male family member to be her partner. She’s a little old to be a flower girl, and if she means a lot to you, well I would just do the junior bridesmaid thing.
Post # 12
I’m actually having two girls (ages 13 and 9 at the time of the wedding) in the roles of ring bearer/flower girl. They’ll carry flowers and each have one of our rings. I’ve been going back and forth about whether to call them flower girls or junior bridesmaids. I originally planned for them to be "fairy girls" (I have a fairy/fantasy theme) and have them wear wings but have changed my mind on that. I don’t know that the label you place on them really matters. I think it’s just important to include the people that mean the most to you no matter their age.
Post # 13
My fiance’s family has lots of kids, and two of the girls are going to be 9 and 11 for the wedding. We all ready have the flower girl spot filled by 2 younger girls, and I don’t really want junior bridesmaids. I don’t know if anything like this is an option for you, but I am Catholic so they are bringing up the gifts for communion (wine and host). They’ll be dressed similarly to the rest of the wedding party, and they still get to walk up the aisle.
Post # 14
We’re doing an outdoor, non-denominational wedding, so participation is kind of limited. There won’t be a reading. No unity candle. No communion. Just Maid/Matron of Honor and Best Man walking down the aisle followed by my 10 yr. old niece and 10 yr. old nephew, and finally by my ring bearers, my 4 & 6 year old nephews. I just can’t figure out if they should be Jr. Bridal party or flower girl with escort. Maybe she doesn’t need a title?? So lost…