(Closed) FMIL acts like I don't exist/doesn't like me?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 31
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

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As far as we know, the OP hasn’t done anything to make her FML hate her so much and hating someone she barely knows is mean as well as ignorant. 

It’s about not putting a disrespectful person’s needs ahead of one’s own. A power struggle is not necessary because partners come first. Wanting to be around your partner does not indicate a lack of confidence either. Did you ever consider that maybe the OP doesn’t want her husband alone with his mother because his mother isn’t a very nice person and she knows her FML’s visits put her husband in a bad mood? Refusing to placate a controlling mother in law is not fighting…it’s just being assertive. 

It seems like you are disregarding the OP’s feelings and you believe that her MIL’s emotions should be catered to. Controlling and nasty people will not always respond well to kindness; sometimes that makes them even more difficult to deal with. 

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