FMIL and Bridal Party

posted 2 months ago in Family
Post # 2
8016 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i wouldn’t put anything special in the welcome bag.

i’m not sure what bridal things you are putting in, but i would think that would be reserved for your bridesmaids, and not even give your own mom that stuff.


i am not close with DH’s mom, she has since passed away.  she had a stroke and needed a care taker.  but i did invite her to get her hair and makeup down with us as my treat to her.  she declined the hair and accepted the makeup.  she came towards the very end of getting ready, she might have even been last. actually i think she was only in there to have her makeup done then left the room.  i don’t remember if she was there when i was getting dressed, i wouldn’t have cared though. this way she was ready for family pictures with us before the ceremony.


Post # 3
619 posts
Busy bee

cabbatiello : She’s a grown woman, she can be in charge of getting herself ready. Typically, unless the bride and groom’s family are super close, only the bridal party proper get ready together, so I think you’re off the hook on that one. 

My personal feeling is ask FH how much he wants to acknowledge her. If they aren’t close and she’s only attending out of formality’s sake, I’d treat her as any other guest. If he wants her to have some additional role or importance, I’d leave it to him to make that gesture. She hasn’t made an effort to welcome you into her family, you aren’t obliged to go out of your way for her. 

Post # 4
3018 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I would treat her like a standard guest, unless your FH wanted to do a little something extra (and if he doesn’t, I’d let it go). She can get dressed on her own.

She is your FI’s mother, not your responsibility. I would be polite and distant since she doesn’t sound like someone either of you are close to or trying to be closer to.

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