(Closed) FMIL and family drama

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 4
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

This is sad, I have been very dissapointed with FIs family lately, not his parents but the rest of his family is verry selfish.  I was really upset by some comments that were made and how some things were handled, Fiance told me “the only family that mattesr is you, me, my parents and your parents” Really made me feel good that he supported me that way, that I come first! I told Fiance that I didnt really want to go to any of his family events for a while, I need the space, told him he could go but I was going to stay away b/c my feeling had really really been hurt, he understands and supports that.

You should not buy a house you are not in love with! I say elope, save the money and find the house of your dreams 🙂

Post # 5
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Having never bought a house or lived with in-laws, I have no real advice to offer :/ I just wanted to say that I think, since you and your Fiance will be paying for the house, and you’re the one making the down payment, you should definitely be in love with whatever house you end up buying. If you don’t love it, it doesn’t get bought. End of story. If Future In-Laws want more say, then they need to contribute some funds.

It sounds to me like your Future Mother-In-Law is having a tantrum because she can’t get the house she wants. Your Fiance supports you and has told his parents to stay out of it. The fact that he is standing up for you over them tells me that your FMIL’s judgments of your character are completely whack and are based on her upset feelings and not on your actual personality.

She might also feel betrayed because of the closeness you two shared and now you are suddenly both on opposites sides of a pretty big debate. Maybe she thought you would be willing to sacrifice your wants for the sake of your good relationship with each other? I don’t know. I do know that, if I had to move in with my son and his fiancee, and I wasn’t contributing any funds to the purchase of the new house, I’d shut up and live wherever they wanted to live. Anything else, I feel, is just rude.

I’m sorry your relationship with her is suffering. I hope it all works out for you.

Post # 7
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Sunset Harbour

Well there is NO WAY that I would buy a house and live with them, thats for sure. They are adults and since they arent helping to pay for this home, and you are allowing them to live there, they have no say.

Post # 8
Member
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Are they planning to live with you in the house you buy?  I sure hope not!

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