Post # 1
Pardon the anonymity. I don’t want this situation linked with my previous posts. We found out today that both Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law have cancer. We’ll know more next week, but right now they are saying that Future Mother-In-Law has 6 months. Future Father-In-Law hasn’t even told her that he’s also been diagnosed. He was waiting until this scan came back to tell her. She survived a different type of cancer a few years back, hence the reason for the twice-yearly scans.
Basically, what it’s come down to is that they might very well both be gone in the next 6-12 months. We were supposed to mail out our wedding invitations Tuesday. Now, I don’t know if I can even pull myself together enough to get anything done, much less Fiance. I don’t know if we’ll even want or have a wedding. To top all of this off, I’m pregnant. We hadn’t planned on telling them yet, but now I just don’t know what to do.
Post # 3
Oh my goodness. I’m so sorry you and your Fiance are going through this. Maybe you can do a small private ceremony with just parents/immediate family so they can be a part of it and see you two get married?
Post # 4
@NothingToSeeHere: I’m so sorry for you both, no matter what, you will never be ready to loose your parents. You don’t know what to do right now, and that’s ok, it’s overwhelming to face….send the invitations, go to dinner, make plans, take photos, cry, laugh, hold hands and say what you need to say to each other. You don’t know how long you’ll have, so make what you get count and tell them you are expecting, and find a way for your son or daughter to know these wonderful people later on, a video, or letters they write….it’s important to know who we missed….stay strong, love each other and give yourself permission to do whatever you need to in order to get through this. It will be alright.
Post # 5
I am so sorry this is happening to you!
We were in a similar situation last year with my FI’s mother, she was diagnosed with cancer and given 6 months to live.
My Fiance was planning on asking me to marry him until he found this out. Then to top it off his dad ran off to Rome and his wife died while he was away….We have been dealing with family drama ever since.
I am praying for you and the entire family, and I wish you all the best out of this situation. As for the pregnancy I would tell them a little later, I think they’d love to know that they will have a grandchild and it could be the silver lining.
Post # 6
I am sorry sweetie, I cant even begin to imagine what you are all going through.
Post # 7
- Wedding: March 2012 - Father's Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet Center
I am so, so sorry. That has to be so incredibly heartbreaking. To be pregnant and planning a wedding and then be told that two of the most important people in you and your FI’s family are going to be facing a hard battle, has got to be devastating. If getting married is still important to you, maybe you could scale back the wedding and just have an intimate wedding with your close family and friends. Sending you lots of thoughts and hugs.
Post # 8
I am so sorry, that must be just so heartbreaking. ((HUGS)) Maybe with the wedding and a new grandbaby on the way may be good for them also. They get to concentrate on something besides being ill, and knowing that their children will be settled I know would be of comfort to them. I am just so sad for you right now.
Post # 9
I’m so sorry for what you are going through. I agree with PP that the wedding and baby are good news that might help both parents. Sending prayers your way!
Post # 10
I have nothing to say, just want to send hugs. 🙁
Post # 11
I’m planning my daughter’s wedding for December 1st.
In March I was diagnosed with Cancer and given 6 months without treatment.
This wedding is so very important to me because I will be able to see my daughter on her way to a stable, happy life. I will be able to breathe a sigh of relief knowing that she can continue on without me and be happy. This is what we, as parents, truly want for our children. Tell them and let them share in your joy of starting your lives together and making your own family. It’s truly the best gift you can ever give them.
Post # 12
Thanks for the kind words.
We’re both kind of numb right now. I’m out of town for work until Friday. I want to come home early, but Fiance says not to since there’s nothing I can do and my boss says that because we’re not married yet this doesn’t qualify for family medical leave.
@jer72: Thank you so much. You have no idea how much that means to me.
Post # 13
Wow I don’t even know what to say except that I’m so sorry. I think you should definitely tell them. I don’t know them but I’m sure that’s something they would want to know. Like PP said, parents want their children to be happy above all else, and they would like to know you are starting your family and will be ok.
Post # 14
Praying for you and your family!!! My mother has cancer – so I can semi-relate. Its a terrible thing for someone and their familes to go through.
Post # 15
I am so sorry. This is devestating for you and your family. Please spend as much time as you can all together and know we are praying for you and sending hugs your way.
Post # 16
If you and your Fiance agree I would have a small family only wedding so both his parents can be there. I would also tell them about their future grandchild, I really think it will give them joy during this hard time. Also it might make them fight to see that baby be born. Best of luck to you all.