- 6 years ago
Ok I will warn you this will be long but I need advice 🙂
My Fiance has 2 sisters, one who is 22 and another who is 11, he has nothing to do with his mother and hasn’t spoken to her in 2.5 years, due to her being very abusive (both mentally and physically through childhood and beyond) manipulative and made him feel worthless. She also messed up his credit rating buy when he was living with her using his bank details to set up direct debits and not paying them off etc. etc. which he didn’t find out about until last year when he checked his credit score!
So she is a nut, due to this we have limited contact with the 10 year old sister as she still lives at home, the 22 year old sister moved out last year after a heated argument in which Future Mother-In-Law threw a glass bowl at her head, so she moved into our spare room for a few months until she got a place with her Fiance (she is now pregnant)
So thats the backstory, now my issue comes from wanting to invite 10 year old Future Sister-In-Law to be a bridesmaid however (obviously) Future Mother-In-Law will not be invited. Now we have told Future Mother-In-Law she is not invited as she keeps leaving voicemails on FI’s phone crying, saying his little sister tried to hurt herself because she misses him too much (generally trying to get him to give in and go over) and I am not sure how to or even if I should ask 10 year old Future Sister-In-Law to be Bridesmaid or Best Man, as Future Mother-In-Law intercepts all post for her children, and shares a phone with 10 year old Future Sister-In-Law.
She is also the type of person who, if we sent a letter for example, would tell Future Sister-In-Law ‘1234Qwerty and brother don’t like you and won’t have you as bridesmaid’ this has happened before with her birthday (we sent her a message asking if we could take Future Sister-In-Law out for the day, she didn’t reply but told Future Sister-In-Law that we didn’t like her anymore thats why we didn’t bother seeing her for her birthday etc.)
FSIL’s god parents (and close friends of FMIL) are invited, as is the older Future Sister-In-Law and her Fiance, however I am not sure Future Mother-In-Law would be ok with Future Sister-In-Law going to a wedding for the whole day without her.
What do you think I should do, I was planning on trying to get both FSIL’s together and ask the younger one to be bridesmaid and tell her to discuss with her mother about logistics and whether she is allowed (so at least she knows we want her in the wedding party, and if Future Mother-In-Law isn’t ok with it, then its down to her) or do you think I should not bother as I am 99% sure Future Mother-In-Law will not let her go either way and I don’t want to get Future Sister-In-Law hopes up at that age.
Any help or advice would be really really helpful. The wedding is a while off yet, but want to figure this out as its causing a lot of stress 🙁
Just to add younger Future Sister-In-Law will have other family there, she will not be on her own at all and will have plenty of adult supervision without her mother, as mentioned her god parents are going (and have said they will take her etc. if need be) and her older sister will be going too. But on the other hand I understand (no matter how much of a twisted B she is) that a mother might not be ok with her (then) 12 year old daugher being away all day at a wedding etc.