(Closed) FMIL and invites!

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@MrsFisherman:  If you can’t directly tell her (which is what I would do “We aren’t sending out any more invitations because we are already over our limit.”), then I would just say/do nothing. She can keep giving you names, but you just leave them to rot in a drawer. But I think telling her directly or getting Fiance to do it would be better…

Post # 4
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Be firm with her! Lay down the law and tell her the invitations have already gone out and the people whose names she is giving to you will not be invited. Get Fiance involved if need be.

Post # 6
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

OMG! I think you are telling my story.

We are having a relatively small wedding (130-140 max) and my Future Mother-In-Law flipped. She took every opportunity to remind us that so and so person in her family cannot come because our wedding was too small.  She also told people (in front of us) that the only reason they wouldnt be invited to our wedding was not because SHE didnt want to invite them but because WE did not want to invite them because we were having a small wedding. When she would do that, we would feel so bad because she would say that to the person while we were there, so we felt obligated to invite the person.

Now, our guest list is up to almost 200 people. I have decided that I will not ask her for names. I am going to only deal with my fiance and he can get the names from her.  I told him that it is his responsibility to tell her that we are limited by funds and cant invite everyone. 

The funny part is that my mom and dad are paying for everything (his parents told him that it is the responsibility of the Brides parents to pay for the whole wedding (which i understand)) but she wants to invite more people than my parents are inviting and they are paying for everthing!

Post # 7
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

You DEFNITELY should get Fiance involved.  If you and him decided on the number and age requests for guests, then he needs to support that decision with you.  Don’t take all the wrath yourself.  Either tell her together (if you’re afraid he’d cave) or ask him to handle his parents discrepencies and you’ll handle yours.  Maybe an alternative is to say you’ll put those names on the “B” list and send them out if there’s extra room once you start getting RSVP’s. (Not trying to suggest to be dishonest, but if you actually send them then it’s up to you.)  If she’s just thinking of people now, after the fact, they must not have been a “must invite” since they weren’t part of the original list. 

Post # 8
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

i think your fi needs to tell her that all of the invites have already gone out so stop with the additional names.

Post # 10
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My Future Mother-In-Law sent my Fiance names of people from his side of the family afterwards and I looked at them as said to him”You do realize I am just going to throw these out right”, and he said “well dont say anything, she going to send them so I gave them to you, you can do whatever you want.” LOL  Done deal.


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