(Closed) FMIL and rehearsal dinner frustration

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
13015 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Why does she want everyone to go to her house?  Cost?  Keep pointing out that 90 minutes of driving back and forth, especially when there’s drinking, is a bad idea.  To be honest, if it were me, I’d probably skip the dinner after the rehearsal and meet back up with you at the welcome party… 

I don’t think you sound like a brat at all.  It sounds unnecessarily complicated.

Post # 4
Member
5763 posts
Bee Keeper

Well, the way I see it is it IS her party, so she gets final say. Mention the transportation part and have her figure it out…she may come around and do it the way you want after thinking about it.

Post # 5
Member
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

It does sound like it would work out better your way.  Although she has been generous by offering to host, you might have to politely decline her offer and do it your way. 

Also it wouldn’t really be your responsibility to transport everyone, but it does make it more likely that some people won’t come if they don’t want to worry about it.  

And finally . .  I used to live in Columbus GA!

Post # 6
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

“MIL and Father-In-Law, I’m sorry but we’ve decided to cover the rehearsal dinner costs ourselves.  We appreciate your generous offer but would prefer to do things our way and would not ask you to pay for something that you do not want to do.”

Post # 8
Member
46419 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

The groom’s parents traditionally host the rehearsal dinner. It is great that they offered, but it can create some challenges meshing with the couple’s vision.

Basically you are both talking about a casual, low key dinner, the only point of contention is the location.

I would have your Fiance have a discussion with her. He could try to find out what is the stumbling block for her re having it in town. Is it that she won’t feel like the hostess? Is she copncerned about the lack of facilities at the park?

The biggest concern that he could raise is the concern about the liability issues of asking people to drive 45 min back to town after drinking at her house. If she gets that, then I would ask her how she plans to organize safe transportion for people to get back to town without driving.

I think it would greatly enhance your future relationship with her if you can find a way for her to still host the dinner.

Post # 9
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with PPs that you either need to let this go or pay for the rehearsal dinner yourself.  Let Future Mother-In-Law worry about transportation for all the guests, and if some guests can’t find a ride, they just won’t go.

Post # 10
Member
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@cant.wait.to.be.mrs.d:  Nope not military, I’m not entirely sure why my Dad was working there.  It was only for a couple of years when I was a kid.  All I remember is I went to Kindergarten at St. Anne.

Post # 11
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I am going to have ENOUGH stuff to do the day before the wedding, then waste an hour and a half commuting to the rehearsal dinner. :)-

I understand that she wants to host at her house, but this is a *huge* inconvenience for everyone involved. If I was in the wedding party, I might be inclined to skip it. And since she bailed on you once before, I would be a little wary. What about her hosting a day after brunch or breakfast?

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