FMIL and Tux Issues

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
1409 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Yeah, that is kind of awkward but I think she just has to roll with it if she wants them in the wedding. We too looked at buying a suit at JcPenny’s and honestly, the guys preferred renting because it was less of a hassle. Some suits may not be in everyone’s size at a department store. We tried our very best though to get costs as low as possible, because it does suck to shell out money to rent an outfit for a day. One thing that we did was, instead of getting the free suit rental for Darling Husband, the other guys just got a nice discount on theirs and Darling Husband paid for his. Regardless, I would just get your Fiance to let her know that you guys are renting.

Post # 4
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

Are you paying for the cost of renting the suits? If you are, then, girl, you do you. If you aren’t, I would suggest asking the groomsmen what their preference would be. Maybe they would prefer a little bit of the hassle to own a suit for just a little more than it would cost to buy it. 

Post # 5
Member
6169 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

If the plan has been to rent suits and that has been agreed upon by the adults participating in the wedding, then their preferences take precedence over FMIL’s suggestion.

I would write her back and say “We appreciate your offer but we are going to rent the suits as originally planned.” and then express appreciation for her intention of paying for “her boys'” suits but that that plan doesn’t work for the group as a whole and that you weren’t expecting money from her and do not want her to feel obligated.

Post # 6
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

My FH has a $2000 suit in his closet that he wore once. 

 

Once.

 

just explain to her it’s not actually saving money if they never wear it again.

Post # 7
Member
5564 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

If the plan is for the men to all pay for their own suits or rental, but that the Mother-In-Law would pay for your FI’s brothers then I would ask them all what they prefer. The other Groomsmen might also prefer to pay a little more but get to keep the suit.

Post # 8
Member
1754 posts
Buzzing bee

If she wants to buy her sons’ suits, let her. That doesn’t mean that’s what they’ll be wearing to your wedding. If she wants her sons to own suits so badly, nothing is stopping her from buying them.

Post # 9
Member
6294 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

josie7 :  I dislike rentals because they tend to have limited scope for alterations and you end up with a bunch of people wearing matching, ill-fitting (usually) suits.

We just asked the groomsmen to wear grey suits and white shirts. We gave them the cost of a rental towards it (as they all had grey suits so could wear something they already owned) and bought the ties.

If we had wanting matching suits we would have gone with standard suits tailored where needed, and paid.

Post # 10
Member
3832 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

It’s her choice to pay for it, you just tell her what you’re doing (renting) and she can make her own choice. Of course if there’s the option to either buy or rent identical suits then your groomsmen could decide individually what they want to do. 

Post # 11
Member
2460 posts
Buzzing bee

We actually asked the GMs what they preferred to do and they chose to buy their suit. We went with an online company that had great reviews to accommodate the out of state groomsmen. It was maybe 50 dollars more. If that after all the discounts. My Fiance actually got a tux for a very discounted price and a free suit from it. (not that that is why we went that route) all the GMs preferred paying money towards something that they were actually going to have a gain. Most of them wear suits for work and job interviews though so it was a wise investment for them. We really liked the company. I THINK it was called combat gent? The staff was very nice and they walk you through the measurements and they have an emergency plan for if the suit they send you didn’t fit you and it was close to the wedding. It really worked out well for us and all the suits fit great and needed minimal tailoring (just hem pant legs for some of the shorter guys in the party). We really liked working with them and it wasn’t that much more expensive then renting and then we bought all of their ties. 

I would maybe price it out and see what the difference between the two might be. It might be very minimal. I would then just ask and see what the guys want to do. 

Post # 12
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Sorry bee, but I’m pro buying as well. That’s her preference since she’s paying for some of the suits, so the other guys may have the same preference. I would ask them. 

Our guys bought suits for our wedding so they could be altered. It was $230 including alterations which was around the same price as a rental. One guy already had a black suit from another wedding so he just wore that. 

Could you compromise and pick a suit for the guys who want to rent and one for the guys who want to buy? A suit is a suit and as long as they’re the same color no one will notice a difference. 

Post # 14
Member
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

josie7 :  suits are fairly generic…why won’t they wear it again? It’s not like the gold sequined bridesmaids gowns my girlfriends bought for my wedding (although 2 did say they wore them again! lol).  Even if it’s only a few times for future weddings, funerals, job interviews, etc almost every man has the need to wear a suit at least a few times in their lives. I’d vote for buying. 

Post # 15
Member
9435 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’d be really annoyed if Darling Husband was basically forced to buy a certain suit for a wedding. They aren’t cheap! Plus all the shopping….ugh. Darling Husband is horrible about it. He’d much rather walk in, be measured, and have the suit ready to go on the day of. I could see it being different if your Fiance hangs with a crowd that frequently wears suits, but that’s just not the case for us.

I think our suit rentals were like $200, and that was one of the priciest options.

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