(Closed) FMIL annoyed that we didn't spend Christmas with them

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 3
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@weddinglol22:  how frustrating! I’m sorry this happened to you. Selective memory by parents can be so unnecessarily upsetting. Is this normal kind of behaviour?

Post # 4
1249 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand

Wow that’s obnoxious! I would be pissed as well -__- it’s crazy how jealous in-laws can be. 

Post # 5
7872 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@weddinglol22:  It sounds like a simple miscommunication to me. And I’m guessing it wasn’t 4 am where she was.

But as for wanting to talk to you – ridiculous. If she can’t communicate properly with her son, it’s nothing to do with you.

BTW your fiance was in the wrong for passing the buck (and phone) to you. He should have said, “Mum/mom, it’s 4am, you can’t talk to her”. He needs to learn not to cave in to her like that.

Post # 6
7564 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

It sounds like a miscommunication but if there’s a history I can understand being upset.

I also found it strange that your DH passed it off to you. He should just say no! 

Post # 7
45654 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@weddinglol22:  Put it in writing next time as she seems incapable of remembering a pretty significant conversation.

Post # 8
2612 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

Very annoying, not much you can do. My FMIL called us on Christmas Eve to tell us dinner was ready, she never invited us for dinner! At least not me. I guess FBIL texted FI about there being dinner like an hour before it would be ready, but really…that’s hardly an invitation or enough notice. I felt bad, but there wasn’t much we could do at that point. Just have to let it go. 

Post # 9
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@weddinglol22:  I love my MIL to death but she also has selective memory. I am just used to it and used to saying thing like “No mom I told you DH works Christmas Eve so we will be out there after he is off”. I definitely feel your pain. 

Post # 10
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I like julie1949’s suggestion.  Next year communicate all holiday plans via e-mail so if she tries to pull this crap again, you can just forward the e-mail like “Nope, already told you, not gonna argue”

Post # 11
45 posts
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’d just explain to her that you can’t be in 2 places at once and you don’t get to see so and so often so that’s what you did for Christmas. Suggest maybe switching off Christmases, or just forget it, I mean, you can’t plesae everyone. 

Post # 12
1773 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

your FI should have handled this himself.  not sure why he’d let his irate mom take her misremembrances out on you at all.  I’d let him know that he should please deal w/his parents’ confusion or anger on his own in the future.

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