Post # 1
I’ll just point out that my parents and brother (Plus basically all my family) live on the other side of the Atlantic to me and I maybe see them about 3 times a year, if that. And I was really upset last year because I couldn’t get enough time of work to make it worth while flying out to see them. So I was really happy when me and FI got time of so we could go and see them and spend Christmas with them. However FIL’s assumed we would be spending Christmas with them so when FI told them other wise they were a bit upset, which I can understand, but seemed to have got over it and we arranged to drop of there presents before we left.
Then on boxing day at 4am I get a phone call from FMIL asking why we weren’t at Christmas Dinner! I just threw the phone at FI and told him to deal with it and went to get a drink. When I came back FI told me that FMIL wanted to talk to me and started to have a rant at me about how I showed her no respect by not fully informing us of our plans and expected us to at least pop by! Respect she woke us up at 4am! FFIL then took the phone and apologised and said his wife had told him that we would be back by Christmas afternoon and only suggested they call incase something was wrong. I totally don’t mind that he was given the wrong information and has apologised. What annoys me is that FMIL said we were coming when she knew full well that we weren’t I just don’t get why we clearly told her we were flying back on the 28th because she wanted to know if we would be back for the new year
Post # 3
@weddinglol22: how frustrating! I’m sorry this happened to you. Selective memory by parents can be so unnecessarily upsetting. Is this normal kind of behaviour?
Post # 4
- Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand
Wow that’s obnoxious! I would be pissed as well -__- it’s crazy how jealous in-laws can be.
Post # 5
@weddinglol22: It sounds like a simple miscommunication to me. And I’m guessing it wasn’t 4 am where she was.
But as for wanting to talk to you – ridiculous. If she can’t communicate properly with her son, it’s nothing to do with you.
BTW your fiance was in the wrong for passing the buck (and phone) to you. He should have said, “Mum/mom, it’s 4am, you can’t talk to her”. He needs to learn not to cave in to her like that.
Post # 6
It sounds like a miscommunication but if there’s a history I can understand being upset.
I also found it strange that your DH passed it off to you. He should just say no!
Post # 7
@weddinglol22: Put it in writing next time as she seems incapable of remembering a pretty significant conversation.
Post # 8
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
Very annoying, not much you can do. My FMIL called us on Christmas Eve to tell us dinner was ready, she never invited us for dinner! At least not me. I guess FBIL texted FI about there being dinner like an hour before it would be ready, but really…that’s hardly an invitation or enough notice. I felt bad, but there wasn’t much we could do at that point. Just have to let it go.
Post # 9
@weddinglol22: I love my MIL to death but she also has selective memory. I am just used to it and used to saying thing like “No mom I told you DH works Christmas Eve so we will be out there after he is off”. I definitely feel your pain.
Post # 10
I like julie1949’s suggestion. Next year communicate all holiday plans via e-mail so if she tries to pull this crap again, you can just forward the e-mail like “Nope, already told you, not gonna argue”
Post # 11
I’d just explain to her that you can’t be in 2 places at once and you don’t get to see so and so often so that’s what you did for Christmas. Suggest maybe switching off Christmases, or just forget it, I mean, you can’t plesae everyone.
Post # 12
your FI should have handled this himself. not sure why he’d let his irate mom take her misremembrances out on you at all. I’d let him know that he should please deal w/his parents’ confusion or anger on his own in the future.